GENERAL D---- was more distinguished for gallantry in the field than for the care he lavished upon his person. Complaining, on a certain occasion, to the late Chief-Justice Bushe, of Ireland, of the sufferings he endured from rheumatism, that learned and humorous judge undertook to prescribe a remedy. "You must desire your servant," he said to the general, "to place every morning by your bedside a tub three-parts filled with warm water. You will then get into the tub, and having previously provided yourself with a pound of yellow soap, you must rub your whole body with it, immersing yourself occasionally in the water, and at the end of a quarter of an hour, the process concludes by wiping yourself dry with towels, and scrubbing your person with a flesh-brush."--"Why," said the general, after reflecting for a minute or two, "this seems to be neither more nor less than washing one's self."--"Well, I must confess," rejoined the judge, "_it is open to that objection_." MDXIV.--EPIGRAM. (Upon the late Duke of Buckingham's moderate reform.) FOR Buckingham to hope to pit His bill against Lord Grey's is idle; Reform, when offered _bit_ by _bit_, Is but intended for a _bridle_. MDXV.--A DREADFUL SUSPICION. A GENTLEMAN leaving the company, somebody who sat next to Dr. Johnson asked who he was. "I cannot exactly tell you sir," replied the doctor, "and I should be loath to speak ill of any person whom I do not know deserves it, but I am afraid he is an _attorney_." MDXVI.--A FAMILIAR FRIEND. SYDNEY SMITH was annoyed one evening by the familiarity of a young gentleman, who, though a comparative stranger, was encouraged by Smith's jocular reputation to address him by his surname alone. Hearing the young man say that he was going that evening to see the Archbishop of Canterbury for the first time, the reverend wit interposed, "Pray don't _clap him_ on the back, and call him Howley." MDXVII.--NO MUSIC IN HIS SOUL. LORD NORTH, who had a great antipathy to music, being asked why he did not subscribe to the Ancient Concerts, and it being urged as a reason for it that his brother the Bishop of Winchester did, "Ay," replied his lordship, "if I was as _deaf_ as my brother, I would _subscribe too_." MDXVIII.--PROFESSIONAL CANDOR. A GENTLEMAN afflicted with rheumatism consulted a physician, who immediately wrote him a prescription. As the patient was going away the doctor called him back. "By the way, sir, should my prescription happen to afford you any relief, _please to let me know_, as I am myself suffering from _a similar affection_, and have tried _in vain to cure it_." MDXIX.--TELL IT NOT IN ENGLAND. LADY CARTERET, wife of the Lord-Lieutenant of Ireland, in Swift's time, one day said to the wit, "The air of this country is very good."--"Don't say so in England, my lady," quickly replied the dean, "for if you do they will certainly _tax_ it."