MDXXXVI.--LAW AND PHYSIC. WHEN Dr. H. and Sergeant A. were walking arm-in-arm, a wag said to a friend, "These two are just equal to one highwayman."--"Why?" was the response. "Because it is a lawyer and a doctor--_your money or your life_." MDXXXVII.--EUCLID REFUTED. "A PART," says Euclid, "one at once may see, Unto the whole can never equal be"; Yet W----'s speeches can this fact control, Of them a part is equal to the whole. MDXXXVIII.--KEEPING IT TO HIMSELF. BURKE once mentioned to Fox that he had written a tragedy. "Did you let Garrick see it?" inquired his friend: "No," replied Burke; "though I had the folly to _write_ it, I had the wit to keep it _to myself_." MDXXXIX.--CLASSICAL WIT. DR. MAGINN dining with a friend on ham and chicken, addressed Sukey Boyle, his friend's housekeeper, thus: "You know, Boyle, what old Ovid, in his 'Art of Love' (book iii.), says; I give you the same wish:-- "'Semper tibi _pendeat hamus_,' May you always have a _ham_ hanging in your kitchen." The doctor insisted that tea was well known to the Romans, "for," said he, "even in the time of Plautus it was a favorite beverage with the ladies,-- "'Amant _te_ omnes mulieres.'" _Miles Glor._, Act i., sc. i., v. 58. Observing Sukey Boyle, he said to his friend, "Ah! John, I see you follow the old advice we both learned at school, [Greek: Charizou te Psyche], 'Indulge yourself with Sukey.'" There was some hock at dinner, which he thus eulogized:-- "'Hoc tum saevas paulatim mitigat iras, Hoc minuit luctus moestaque corda levat.'" _Ov. Trist._, lib. iv., _el._ vi., v. 15, 16. MDXL.--A PREFERABLE WAY. ONE of the Kembles made his first appearance on the stage as an opera singer. His voice was, however, so bad, that at a rehearsal the conductor of the orchestra called out, "Mr. Kemble! Mr. Kemble! you are murdering the music!"--"My dear sir," was the quiet rejoinder, "it is far better to murder it outright, than to keep on _beating it as you do_." MDXLI.--A STOUT SWIMMER. SOME one jocularly observed to the Marquis Wellesley, that, in his arrangements of the ministry, his brother, the Duke, had thrown him overboard. "Yes," said the Marquis; "but I trust I have strength enough to swim _to the other side_." MDXLII.--A CHOICE OF EVILS. ONE asked his friend, why he married so _little_ a wife? "Why," said he, "I thought you knew, that of all evils we should choose the _least_." MDXLIII.--RESTING HERSELF. A LABORER'S daughter, who had been in service from her childhood, would frequently wish to be married, that, as she expressed herself, she might _rest her bones_. Some time afterwards she got married, and her late mistress meeting her, asked her, "Well, Mary, have you rested your bones yet?"--"Yes, indeed," replied she, with a sigh, "I have rested my _jaw-bones_." MDXLIV.--A CHARTIST NOT A LEVELLER.