SIR JOSEPH JEKYLL wrote the following impromptu, on observing a certain sergeant, well known for his prosiness, bustling into the Court of King's Bench, where he was engaged in a case:-- Behold the sergeant full of fire, Long shall his hearers rue it; His purple garments _came from Tyre_, His arguments _go to it_. MDLXXXVII.--A SMALL JOKE. MR. DALE, who it would appear was a short stout man, had a person in his employment named Matthew, who was permitted that familiarity with his master which was so characteristic of the former generation. One winter day, Mr. Dale came into the counting-house, and complained that he had fallen on the ice. Matthew, who saw that his master was not much hurt, grinned a sarcastic smile. "I fell all my length," said Mr. Dale. "_Nae great length_, sir," said Matthew. "Indeed, Matthew, ye need not laugh," said Mr. Dale, "I have hurt the sma' of my back."--"I wunner whaur _that_ is," said Matthew. MDLXXXVIII.--A VAIN THREAT. "MR. BROWN, I owe you a grudge, remember that!"--"I shall not be frightened then, for I never knew you to _pay_ anything that you owe." MDLXXXIX.--POOR LAW. "PRAY, my lord," asked a fashionable lady of Lord Kenyon, "what do you think my son had better do in order to succeed in the law?"--"Let him spend all his money: marry a rich wife, and spend all hers: and when he has _not got a shilling_ in the world, let him attack the law." Such was the advice of an old Chief Justice. MDXC.--CAUSE AND EFFECT. IT is too true that there are many patriots, who, while they bleat about the "_cause_ of liberty," act in so interested a manner that they are evidently looking more after the _effects_. MDXCI.--A FAIR DISTRIBUTION. WHEN the British ships under Lord Nelson were bearing down to attack the combined fleet off Trafalgar, the first lieutenant of the "Revenge," on going round to see that all hands were at quarters, observed one of the men,--an Irishman,--devoutly kneeling at the side of his gun. So very unusual an attitude exciting his surprise and curiosity he asked the man if he was afraid. "Afraid," answered the tar, "no, your honor; I was only praying that the enemy's shot may be distributed in the same proportion _as the prize-money_,--the greatest part _among the officers_." MDXCII.--SOMETHING SHARP. WHEN we heard ---- say a thing of some acidity the other night in the House of Commons, the honorable member reminded us of a calf's head with a lemon in it.--G. A'B. MDXCIII.--AN AFFECTIONATE HINT. A NAMESAKE of Charles Fox having been hung at Tyburn, the latter inquired of George Selwyn whether he had attended the execution? "No," was his reply, "I make a point of never attending _rehearsals_!" MDXCIV.--A SIMILE. VANE'S speeches to an hour-glass, Do some resemblance show; Because the longer time they run, The shallower they grow! MDXCV.--A WIDE DIFFERENCE.