Frontier and pioneer life -- West (U.S.) -- Fiction; West (U.S.) -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Western stories
Now these facts I do remember very clearly, and shall never forget them.
The babies came from two towns--Sharon, and Rincon its neighbor. Alone,
neither had enough for a good show, though in both it was every family's
pride to have a baby every year. The babies were in three classes: Six
months and under, one prize offered; eighteen months, two prizes; three
years, two prizes. A three-fourths vote of all cast was necessary to
a choice. No one entitled to vote unless of immediate family of a
competing baby. No one entitled to cast more than one vote. There were
rules of entry and fees, but I forget them, except that no one could
have two exhibits in the same class. When I read this I asked, how about
twins? “Well, we didn't kind of foresee that,” muttered my instructor,
painfully; “what would be your idea?” “Look here, you sir,” interposed
Mrs. Brewton, “he came in to count votes.” I was very glad to have her
back. “That's right, ma'am,” admitted the man; “he needn't to say a
thing. We've only got one twins entered,” he pursued, “which we're glad
of. Shot-gun--“, “Where is this Mr. Smith?” interrupted Mrs. Brewton.
“Uptown, drinking, ma'am.” “And who may Mr. Smith be?” “Most popular
citizen of Rincon, ma'am. We had to accept his twins because--well,
he come down here himself, and most of Rincon come with him, and as we
aimed to have everything pass off pleasant-like--” “I quite comprehend,”
said Mrs. Brewton. “And I should consider twins within the rule; or any
number born at one time. But little Aqua Marine is the finest single
child in that six months class. I told her mother she ought to take that
splurgy ring off the poor little thing's thumb. It's most unsafe. But
I should vote for that child myself.” “Thank you for your valuable
endorsement,” said a spruce, slim young man. “But the public is not
allowed to vote here,” he added. He was standing on the floor and
resting his elbows on the table. Mrs. Brewton stared down at him. “Are
you the father of the child?” she inquired. “Oh no! I am the agent. I--”
“Aqua Marine's agent?” said Mrs. Brewton, sharply. “Ha, ha!” went the
young man. “Ha, ha! Well, that's good too. She's part of our exhibit.
I'm in charge of the manna-feds, don't you know?” “I don't know,” said
Mrs. Brewton. “Why, Mrs. Eden's Manna in the Wilderness! Nourishes,
strengthens, and makes no unhealthy fat. Take a circular, and welcome.
I'm travelling for the manna. I organized this show. I've conducted
twenty-eight similar shows in two years. We hold them in every State
and Territory. Second of last March I gave Denver--you heard of it,
probably?” “I did not,” said Mrs. Brewton. “Well! Ha, ha! I thought
every person up to date had heard of Denver's Olympic Offspring Olio.”
“Is it up to date to loll your elbows on the table when you're speaking
to a lady?” inquired Mrs. Brewton. He jumped, and then grew scarlet
with rage. “I didn't expect to learn manners in New Mexico,” said he.
“I doubt if you will,” said Mrs.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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