New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Women white collar workers -- Fiction
Una evoked an image of her mother as one who had been altogether good,
understanding, clever, and unfortunate. She regretted every moment she
had spent away from her--remembered with scorn that she had planned to
go to the theater the preceding Saturday, instead of sanctifying the
time in the Nirvana of the beloved's presence; repented with writhing
agony having spoken harshly about neglected household duties.
She even contrived to find it a virtue in her mother that she had so
often forgotten the daily tasks--her mind had been too fine for such
things.... Una retraced their life. But she remembered everything only
as one remembers under the sway of music.
"If I could just have another hour, just one hour with her, and feel her
hands on my eyes again--"
On the night before the funeral she refused to let even Mrs. Sessions
stay with her. She did not want to share her mother's shadowy presence
with any one.
She lay on the floor beside the bed where her mother was stately in
death. It was her last chance to talk to her:
"Mother ... Mother ... Don't you hear me? It's Una calling. Can't you
answer me this one last time? Oh, mother, think, mother dear, I can't
ever hear your voice again if you don't speak to me now.... Don't you
remember how we went home to Panama, our last vacation? Don't you
remember how happy we were down at the lake? Little mother, you haven't
forgotten, have you? Even if you don't answer, you know I'm watching by
you, don't you? See, I'm kissing your hand. Oh, you did want me to
sleep near you again, this last night-- Oh, my God! oh, my God! the last
night I shall ever spend with her, the very last, last night."
All night long the thin voice came from the little white-clad figure so
insignificant in the dimness, now lying motionless on the comforter she
had spread beside the bed, and talking in a tone of ordinary
conversation that was uncanny in this room of invisible whisperers; now
leaping up to kiss the dead hand in a panic, lest it should already be
gone.
The funeral filled the house with intruders. The drive to the cemetery
was irritating. She wanted to leap out of the carriage. At first she
concentrated on the cushion beside her till she thought of nothing in
the world but the faded bottle-green upholstery, and a ridiculous drift
of dust in the tufting. But some one was talking to her. (It was awkward
Mr. Sessions, for shrewd Mrs. Sessions had the genius to keep still.) He
kept stammering the most absurd platitudes about how happy her mother
must be in a heaven regarding which he did not seem to have very recent
or definite knowledge. She was annoyed, not comforted. She wanted to
break away, to find her mother's presence again in that sacred place
where she had so recently lived and spoken.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account