The more important of his crude ideas were: His trouble was caused by loss
of semen (his attacks were always ushered in by emissions), to prevent which
he sometimes put rubber bands around his penis; numerous homosexual fancies,
he was a woman, he had a vagina, there was a maiden head in his forehead
which was operated on to cause him to lose semen; different people made
immoral proposals or had designs on his virginity. These people he all
identified directly or indirectly with his father. Finally there was an idea
that his mother's marriage with his father was not right, that he was not
his father's son, and that his father was inimical to him. He talked of
killing different persons whom at other times he identified plainly with his
father. During an attack he assaulted his father; not infrequently he would
take his father's picture from the wall and spit on it. The relations
between his father and mother were adulterous, he claimed.
If we now take the crude homosexual fancies and study their first
elaboration we find that he had many ideas about eunuchs. They worked on him
by psychological influence. The eunuchs, who could control sun and moon,
influenced him through them. Once he had a vision of the sun approaching him
with which he was physically connected; the vision would disappear if he
lost his virginity. These influences when referred to himself were agencies
causing loss of semen, so that he would become a eunuch himself. At the
time of his heart attack and later he thought there was a snake around his
heart. This was a man who had turned himself into a snake in order to
incorporate himself into the patient's body. His religious fancies
apparently began with his delusion that he was Christ and in connection with
this we find he had the theory that Christ was a virgin. One setting of his
"psychological influence" experience, when he was in bed in one room and
eunuchs were influencing from the next. he duplicated by saying he was
Jesus Christ in one room and God was in the next. He explained after one of
his attacks that his attention was fixed on the windowpane on which he spat
because there was a flower there. During an attack he was heard to say
something about the struggle of men against being raped by ions and flowers.
In these primitive elaborations we find an effort at distortion, a getting
away from the absolutely crude and that the added elements which cause this
distortion are in the form of ideas which imply a certain degree of
philosophizing. The truly constructive delusions appear when he has ceased
to dramatize these theories with himself as the hero and treats them
objectively. We then find that eunuchs are very important people in his
philosophy (the medium of their power we shall see shortly). All women are
eunuchs because they have no testicles. There is no difference between men
and women; if a woman is stronger than her husband, he takes on her
qualities. In India men suckle the children.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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