All the while that I am writing about this thing I keep up my courage by thinking what it will mean to me. It is something so immense that I can hardly realize it. I shall be famous!--And he really liked it, there can be no doubt about that! He was too busy to talk much, but he showed he liked it. * * * * * April 17th. Oh my soul, I think this is the most frightful thing--is it not simply a nightmare? I have been pacing the floor to-night in an agony. _They have never seen that manuscript_! I was going by there to-day, and I couldn't withstand the temptation; the week was not up, but I said: “If I inquire, there's no reason why he should know about it.” I went in. And that terrible clerk--she smiled at me still! The more I talked, the more she shook her head. “There's no such manuscript ever been seen here,” she said. I showed her the letter, and that decided her to go in and see the firm. They sent out word that neither they nor their readers had ever heard of it, but that they would write to the editor at once. * * * * * Oh, I think this is horrible--horrible! And then just guess what I did! I couldn't bear the agony--I went to the other place, and he wasn't there, and so at last I went to his club. He wasn't at the club, but they told me where he was; and I spent ten cents telephoning him. At this place they said he had an engagement to be there later, so I spent another ten cents, and that time I found him. I told him who I was. “The week isn't up yet,” I said, “but the firm say they have never received the manuscript.” “So?” he said; his voice sounded hard, I thought, and it made me shudder. “You come up to see me the day after to-morrow at ten o'clock, and you'll hear about your manuscript.” And that is all. And I walked out of the great, rich club, and I have been pacing up and down in my own garret ever since. I am almost too ill with anxiety to stand. * * * * * April 18th. And to-day I can only wait. Once I lay down upon the bed and cried. * * * * * April 19th. I don't know how to tell this thing. I am simply dazed. I had an experience to-day--the most hideous thing that I think ever happened to me in my life. Oh, I have been like a madman ever since--I lost my head--I did not know what I was doing. I was really crazy--it is three o'clock in the morning, now, but I shall write it down--I can not sleep. * * * * * To-day I went up to see that man as he told me to. I went trembling with suspense--just think, it has been eleven weeks since this agony began. And I went into his office--he was alone; and when he saw me he sprang to his feet--my soul, he looked like a tiger. He stood there in the middle of the room fairly gasping with rage.