--Of course I shall have to begin tramping around, looking for some work again. I must find something better than the last. * * * * * July 20th. Nervous, impatient--it is so that I have lived. Never to waste an instant has been my passion. I have struggled, watched, fought for a minute. If ever I were held back or kept idle it drove me wild, and I burst through everything. It has always been a torture to me not to be thinking something. But less of that torture than I have now, I think I never had; it seems as if I had won the mastery--I mind nothing any more. I walk upon the air, and I never tire. Thoughts--endless thoughts--come to me without ever the asking; nothing disturbs me, nothing hinders me--I take everything along with me.--I am full of impulse, of life, of energy!-- I am the owner of the sphere, Of the seven stars and the solar year, Of Cæsar's hand and Plato's brain!-- And this when I have spent all the day looking for work!--answering advertisements, and tramping to this place and that! Discouraging?--what does the word mean? * * * * * --I am the man who has never learned to shiver and shake! * * * * * I thought of a young Irishman I worked with a long time ago. “Once I went into a place, and says I, 'I'd like to be havin' a job.' An' he looked me over, an' he says, says he, 'Git oot!' An' so I thought I'd better git oot!” * * * * * It might take me some time to find a publisher, I was thinking to-day. I do not know anything about publishers. But once get it before the world, that is the thing! I fear nothing, I can wait. It is done, that is all I can think of. --The rest “must follow, as the night the day.” * * * * * July 21st. To-night I sat by the bedside trembling, thinking of what I had learned. Oh, this faith that I have gained, it must go forth among men! A prayer welled up in my soul--I have learned what I can do--I have learned that I can do what I will! I have seen the infinite heights that lie beyond--oh, let me not fail! The hopes of unborn generations are in my soul. * * * * * --That is true. What systems shall come of this vision of mine, what new ways of beauty, what new happiness and new freedom! That thought has shaken the very depths of my soul. It makes me leap up--it makes me wish to go! Why should I not start now? Why should I waste to-day? * * * * * July 22d. I have been making plans. I must get to work. I was racing through all sorts of vast schemes to-day as I walked about the streets hunting for something to do. I will make my Greek perfect first--I can do that while I am walking.