7) For a universal consciousness, for God, matter does not exist. Matter is only for beings, separated one from another. The limits of separateness is that which we call matter, in all its infinite forms. 8) It is impossible to remember sufficiently that the life of all beings is continuous movement. Almost all our misery comes from the fact that we do not know this or forget this. And imagining that we do not go forward, but that we stand still, we grasp the beings moving alongside of us--some going faster, some going slower than we--we grasp them and hold on as long as the force of the movement does not tear us away. And we suffer. 9) We are all rolling down a slope, going down lower and lower to the plain. Every attempt to hold to one’s place, only makes the fall bigger, the more you hold on. 10) We are sent to cross this sloping path, carrying across it that light which is entrusted to us. And all that we can do--is to help each other on the road to carry this light; but we hold back, pushing each other down, extinguishing our light and that of the others. (It isn’t good, not what I wanted to say.) 11) I know, that when people yawn in front of me, I can become infected, and therefore I say to myself: I don’t want to yawn and I won’t. I have learned to do this as to yawning, but I am only beginning to learn this as to anger. 12) The sight depresses me strangely ... of those owning the land and compelling the people to work. How my conscience is struck. And this is not something reasoned, but a very strong feeling. Was I wrong in not giving my land to the peasants? I don’t know. 13) Lieskov made use of my theme and badly.[330] I had an exquisite thought--three problems: What was the most important time? what man? and what act? The time is the immediate, this minute; the man--he with whom you have immediate business; the act, to save your soul, i.e., to do the act of love.[331] 14) It is impossible to save humanity from that deception in which it is caught.... Only a religious feeling can give the counterstroke and conquer. _June 13. Y. P. If I live._ _June 14. Y. P. Evening._ Both days I wrote _Father Sergius_. It is coming out well. Wrote letters. To-day there was a christening.[332] I still cannot be fully good.... It is difficult, but I do not despair. _To-day June 22. Y. P._ On the 16th I fell very ill.[333] I never had felt so weak and so near death. I am ashamed to have made use of the care which they gave me. I could do nothing. I only read and made some notes. To-day I am a great deal better. Ukhtomsky[334] was pleased with my article,[335] but nevertheless he refused to print it. I telegraphed to Menshikov that he should try the _Viestnik Evropa_ and the _Russki Trud_.[336] I am afraid I am going to become tiresome. The youth have been driven away. For they have forbidden that the flour that was bought be sold.[337]