In the summer of 1898, Tolstoi was twice seriously ill. After these illnesses he entered in his Journal the joy of getting well and a clearness of thinking. Soon after this he underwent new spiritual experiences and in July, 1898, he again considered going away from the conditions of life in Yasnaya Polyana which were depressing and which were against his philosophy. He then wrote a letter to A. A. Järnefelt and made a note in the Journal that he has no strength to withstand the customary temptation,[a31] _i. e._, the desire to go away; it was to Järnefelt that he turned with the request to help him in his plan of going away which he was then considering. But this time also, “the temptation passed,” as he wrote him later. And again his life flowed on as before. The thought of “going away” came to Tolstoi more than once, both early and late, but he considered it a temptation because it would have been spiritually much more easy for him to go away than to refrain from this step. As he expressed himself once, he believed that when there is a doubt in one’s soul, as to which one of two possible steps one should take, then it were better to give preference to that one in which there is the greatest self-sacrifice. In 1899, Tolstoi felt himself spiritually improved and notwithstanding his severely undermined health, he occupied himself much and fruitfully with _Resurrection_. In the autumn of that year he made the entry in the Journal, “I have wrought for myself a calm which is not to be disturbed: not to speak and to know that this is necessary: that it is under these conditions one ought to live.”[a32] Only ten years later, the circumstances arose which freed Tolstoi from the consciousness of the moral responsibility to remain in the conditions of his home life. And having come to the conclusion of the absolute inevitability of going away, he dared, only ten days before his end, to freely give himself to his cherished wish to change the outer conditions of his life. [a6] I consider it absolutely necessary to mention that this exposition has been carefully revised by V. G. Chertkov, who, having been connected with Tolstoi by a friendship of many years, was closely acquainted with the home conditions of his outer life, as well as with the most intimate characteristic of his inner life. [a7] November 5, 1895, page 5. [a8] May 17, 1896, page 46. [a9] May 28, 1896, page 52. [a10] June 26, 1896, page 60. [a11] June 19, 1896, page 58. [a12] July 31, 1896, page 69. [a13] October 20, 1896, page 83; November 5, page 88, and November 20, 1897, page 171. [a14] December 20, 1896, page 108. [a15] December 21, 1896, page 108. [a16] January 18, 1897, page 117. [a17] March 1, 1897, page 135. [a18] March 9, 1897, page 136. [a19] April 4, page 137, and April 9, 1897, page 139. [a20] April 4, 1897, page 137. [a21] May 3, 1897, page 139. [a22] July 16, 1897, page 140.