5) But I say the following in regard to this dogma of the soul: What we call the soul, is the divine, spiritual, limited in us in our bodies. Only the body limits this _divine_, this _spiritual_. And it is this limiting which gives it a form like a vessel gives form to a liquid or a gas which is enclosed in it. But we only know this form. Break the vessel and that which is enclosed in it will cease to have that form which it has and will spread out, be carried off. Whether it combines with other matter, whether it receives a new form--we know nothing about this, but we know for a fact that it loses that form which it had when it was limited, because that which limited it was destroyed. The same with the soul. The soul after death ceases to be the soul and remaining a spirit, a divine essence, becomes something other, such that we cannot judge. I wrote the preface to Chertkov.[278] _Dec. 30. Moscow. If I live._ 1898 Two days have passed. _Jan. 1st._ I meet the new year very sad, depressed, unwell. I cannot work and my stomach aches all the time. Received a letter from Verkholensk from Phedoseev about the Dukhobors, a very touching one.[279] Still another letter from the editor _The Adult_ about free love.[280] If I had time, I would like to write about this subject. Probably I shall write. The most important is to show that the whole matter lies in appropriating to oneself possibilities of the greatest enjoyment without thinking of consequences. Besides, they preach something which already exists and is very bad. Why would the absence of outer _restraint_[281] improve the whole thing? I am, of course, against any regulation and for full freedom, but the ideal is chastity and not pleasure. I have been thinking during this time only one thing and it seems an important thing, namely: 1) We all think that our duty, our vocation, is to do various things: bring up children, make a fortune, write a book, discover a law in science, etc. But for all the work is only one thing: to carry out one’s own life--to act so that life would be a harmonious, good, and rational matter. And the work ought to be not before people, to leave behind one a memory of a good life, but the work is before God: to present to Him oneself, one’s soul, better than it was, nearer to Him, more submissive to Him, more in harmony with Him. To think so--and principally to feel so--is very difficult: One always wanders off for human praise. But it is possible and ought to be done. Help me, Lord. I sometimes feel this and do at this moment. _Jan. 2. Moscow. If I live._ _To-day, already the 4th._ I am a little better. I want to work. Yesterday Stasov and Repine,[282] coffee.... When will I remember that _much talk is much bother_? I received a pamphlet uncensored.