in either affections humour or Blood? And who of feeling can be satisfied to trust to Chance for that which is to constitute the Honor & Welfare, or disgrace & misery of a beloved Child? for ’tis Certain, that the Principles inculcated in Youth, and confirmed by Habit, more or less influence all our succeeding Actions—& creates the Portion of praise, or blame which fix’s our Character in Life.—I have thought often, and very much on this matter, and the more I ponder it, the more I am convinced in my first particularly for an Home Education—and this is one of my grand Inducements for pining after a reunion to my Child, for I do think my James, that I am better qualified to be her Instructress than any other human Being—and this, because I am her Mother, and as such infinitely more Interested in her Welfare than any Friend, however cordial can be, for, on her Establishment in Life, do I think to found my own Prospects of a Mild quiet Evening, after a very boistrous Day—as such it must be, if my Autumn, partakes of my Spring, & Summers Nature—& I have no reason to expect otherwise—Miracles having long since ceased to Operate—Consequently, Policy, as well as Maternal Affection induces me to wish the Cultivation of this Plant under my own Eye, as so much, so very much depends on the flourishing of it—for I think James, if this poor Girl, was to prove unhappy, or worthless, that it would weigh me down much sooner than Loads of Accumulated Affliction reserved for myself alone—or Independed [_sic_] of her fate—for with that, is united the future Chart of mine—if she is deserving & Amiable, I cannot be wholly miserable—if the reverse—which, Heaven forbid! Not all the Blessings in Life—can be superior—to[o] Tasteless—to me—for my Ideas of Happiness are so Interwoven with those of her good Destiny, that in Fact, they are one & the same—and nothing more variable, than a Distinction in Terms—this known to M^r. Draper—and most assuredly felt by me with all the Agonies of Doubt and longing Expectation; I do & must wonder—that He refuses the request so often made, that of my going Home & fixing this Object under my own Protection—for Independent of my Health—which really is Very precarious—I live in a manner, so utterly irreconciliable to my own good opinion in the way of Delicacy and in the Public’s favorable Eye—that I seriously should wish to leave India, if I had no other motive for it than wishing to change the scene—but when I take into consideration, Betseys Welfare, (w^{ch}. I’m vain enough to think is suffering by my absence from her, tho’ I’ve a high opinion of M^{rs}. Whitehill altogether)—my present situation—M^(r). Drapers extreme Indifference about me—what I may lose as to my Childs Improvements by not visiting England—and the little use there can be to any Person my continuing Here—I must & do think I am very hardly dealt with—as it can only arise from a notion very Injurious to my