I am every day negociating to sell my little Estate besides me—to send the money into France to purchace peace to myself—& a certainty of never having it interrupted by M^{rs}. Sterne—who when She is sensible I have given her all I can part with—will be at rest herself—Indeed her plan to purchace annuities in france—is a pledge of Security to me—That She will live her days out there—otherwise She could have no end in transporting this two thousand pounds out of England—nor w^d. I consent but upon that plan—but I may be at rest!—if my imagination will but let me—Hall says ’tis no matter where she lives; If we are but separate,’tis as good as if the Ocean rolled between us—& so I should argue to another Man—but,’tis an Idea w^{ch}. won’t do so well for me—& tho’ nonsensical enough—Yet I shall be most at rest when there is that Bar between Us—was I never so sure, I sh^d. never be interrupted by her, in England—but I may be at rest I say, on that head—for they have left all their Cloaths & plate and Linen behind them in france—& have joined in the most earnest Entreaty, That they may return & fix in france—to w^{ch}. I have give my word & honour—You will be bound with me Eliza! I hope, for performance of my promise—I never yet broke it, in cases where Interest or pleasure could have tempted me,—and shall hardly do it now, when tempted only by misery.—In Truth Eliza! thou art the Object to w^{ch}. every act of mine is directed—You interfere in every Project—I rise—I go to sleep with this on my Brain—how will my dear Bramine approve of this?—w^{ch}. way will it conduce to make her happy? and how will it be a proof of my affection to her? are all the Enquiries I make—y^r. Honour, y^r. Conduct, y^r. Truth & regard for my esteem—I know will equally direct every Step—& movement of y^r. Desires—& with that Assurance, is it, my dear Girl, That I sustain Life.—But when will those Sweet eyes of thine, run over these Declarations?—how—& with whom are they to be entrusted; to be conveyed to You?—unless M^{rs}. James’s friendship to us, finds some expedient—I must wait—till the first evening I’m with You—when I shall present You w^{th}. them as a better Picture of me, than Cosway could do for You …—have been dismally ill all day—owing to my course of Medicines w^{ch}. are too strong & forcing for this gawsy Constitution of mine—I mend with them however—good God! how is it with You?—— * * * * *