Never before had Madame Chanteau appeared so busy. She was taking
advantage, she said, of the confusion into which her husband's illness
threw the household to go through her papers, make up her accounts,
and clear off arrears of correspondence. So in the afternoons she shut
herself up in her bedroom, leaving Louise to her own resources; and the
girl immediately went upstairs to Lazare, for she detested being alone.
They thus got into the way of being together, remaining undisturbed
till dinner-time in the big room on the second floor, that room which
had so long served Pauline both for study and amusement. The young
man's little iron bedstead was still there, hidden away behind the
screen. The piano was covered with dust, and the table buried beneath
an accumulation of papers, books, and pamphlets. In the middle of it,
between two piles of dry seaweed, was a little model of a stockade, cut
out of deal with a knife, and recalling the grandfather's masterpiece,
the bridge which, in its glass case, adorned the mantelpiece in the
dining-room.
For some time Lazare had been falling into a nervous condition. His
workmen had irritated him, and he had just rid himself of the works
on the shore as of a burden beyond his strength, without tasting the
pleasure of seeing his work accomplished. Other plans now filled his
head--vague projects for the future, appointments at Caen, operations
which would bring him great fame. Yet he never took any definite
active steps, but relapsed into a state of idleness which seemed to
render him weaker, less courageous, every hour. The great shock which
he had received from Pauline's illness added to mental disquietude a
perpetual craving for the open air, a peculiar physical longing, as
though he felt some imperious necessity of recouping himself after
his struggle against pain and sorrow. The presence of Louise still
further excited his feverishness. She did not seem able to speak to him
without leaning upon his shoulder; she smiled close to his face, and
her cat-like graces, the warmth that came from her person, and all the
disturbing freedom of her manner quite turned his head. He was seized
with a feeling against which his conscience struggled. With a friend
of his childhood, in his mother's house, any idea of the sort, he told
himself, was not to be thought of for a moment; and his sense of honour
made his arms tingle with pain whenever he caught hold of Louise as
they played together, and a thrill sent his blood surging through his
veins. It was no thought of Pauline that kept him back. She would never
have known anything about the matter. Amidst all his strange fancies
he began to indulge in ferocious, pessimistic sallies respecting women
and love. Every evil originated in women, who were, said he, foolish
and fickle, and perpetuated grief by desire; while love was nothing but
delusion, the onslaught of future generations which wished to come into
existence.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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