The next day it was no longer possible to conceal from Lazare his
mother's condition. All night long had Pauline listened, constantly
awakened from brief dozes, and ever believing that she heard groans
ascending through the floor. Then in the morning she fell into so deep
a sleep that it was only at nine o'clock she was roused by the slamming
of a door. When, after hastily dressing herself, she went downstairs
to make inquiries, she encountered Lazare on the landing of the first
floor. He had just left his mother's room. The swelling was reaching
her stomach, and Véronique had come to the conclusion that the young
man must be warned.
'Well?' asked Pauline.
At first Lazare, who looked utterly upset, made no reply. Yielding to a
habit that had grown upon him, he grasped his chin with his trembling
fingers, and when at last he tried to speak he could scarcely stammer:
'It is all over with her!'
He went upstairs to his own room with a dazed air. Pauline followed
him. When they reached that big room on the second floor, which she
had never entered since the day she had surprised Louise there in her
cousin's arms, Pauline closed the door and tried to reassure the young
man.
'You don't even know what is the matter with her. Wait till the Doctor
comes, at any rate, before you begin to alarm yourself. She is very
strong, and we may always hope for the best.'
But he was possessed by a sudden presentiment, and repeated obstinately:
'It is all over with her; all over.'
It was a perfectly unexpected blow, and quite overcame him. When he
had risen that morning, he had looked at the sea, as he always did,
yawning with boredom and complaining of the idiotic emptiness of life.
Then, his mother having shown him her knees, the sight of her poor
swollen limbs, puffed out by œdema, huge and pallid, looking already
like lifeless trunks, had thrilled him with panic-stricken tenderness.
It was always like this. At every moment fresh trouble came. Even now,
as he sat upon the edge of his big table, trembling from head to foot,
he did not dare to give the name of the disease whose symptoms he
had recognised. He had ever been haunted by a dread of heart disease
seizing upon himself and his relations, for his two years of medical
study had not sufficed to show him that all diseases were liable to
lead to death. To be stricken at the heart, at the very source of life,
that to him seemed the all-terrible, pitiless cause of death. And it
was this death that his mother was going to die, and which he himself
would infallibly die also in his own turn!
'Why should you distress yourself in this way?' Pauline asked him.
'Plenty of dropsical people live for a very long time. Don't you
remember Madame Simonnot? She died in the end of inflammation of the
lungs.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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