They could hear the girl's naked feet splashing through the puddles,
and then all became silent. Véronique pushed the bench aside and
stooped down to sponge away the pools of water that had trickled from
the children's rags. Her kitchen was in a fine state, she grumbled;
it reeked of all that filth to such a degree that she would have to
keep all the windows and doors open. Pauline, who seemed very grave,
gathered up her money and drugs without saying a word, while Lazare,
with an air of disgust and _ennui_, went out to wash his hands at the
yard tap.
It was great grief to Pauline to see that her cousin took but little
interest in her young friends from the village. Though he was willing
to help her on the Saturday afternoons, it was only out of mere
complaisance; his heart was not in the work. Whereas neither poverty
nor vice repelled her, their hideousness depressed and annoyed Lazare.
She could remain cheerful and tranquil in her love for others, whereas
he could not cease to think of himself without finding fresh reasons
for gloomy broodings. Little by little, those disorderly, ill-behaved
children, in whom all the sins of grown-up men and women were already
fermenting, began to cause him real suffering. The sight of them proved
like an additional blight to his existence, and when he left them he
felt hopeless, weary, full of hatred and disgust of the human species.
The hours that were spent in good works only hardened him, made him
deny the utility of almsgiving and jeer at charity. He protested that
it would be far more sensible to crush that nest of pernicious vermin
under foot than to help the young ones to grow up. Pauline listened to
this, surprised by his violence, and pained to find how different were
their views.
That Saturday, when they were alone again, the young man revealed all
his suffering by a single remark.
'I feel as though I had just come out of a sewer,' said he. Then he
added: 'How can you care for such horrible monsters?'
'I care for them for their own good and not for mine,' the girl
replied. 'You yourself would pick up a mangy dog in the road.'
Lazare made a gesture of protest. 'A dog isn't a man,' he said.
'To help for the sake of helping, is not that something?' Pauline
resumed. 'It is vexing that they don't improve in conduct, for, if they
did, perhaps they would suffer less. But I am content when they have
got food and warmth; that is one trouble less for them, at any rate.
Why should you want them to recompense us for what we do for them?'
Then she concluded sadly:
'My poor boy, I see that all this only bores you, and it will be better
for you not to come and help me in future. I don't want to harden your
heart and make you more uncharitable than you already are.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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