Scotland -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
Alas, that it should turn out that he too was something from which her
delicate little soul asked to be rescued! He could not bear the thought
of altering her. The prospect of taking her as his wife, of making her
live in close contact with his masculinity, dangerous both in its
primitive sense of something vast and rough, and also as something more
experienced than her, seemed as iniquitous as the trampling of some fine
white wild flower. But then, she was beautiful, not only lovely: destiny
had marked her for a high career; to leave her as she was would be to
miscast one who deserved to play the great tragic part, which cannot be
played without the actress's heart beating at the prospect of so great a
role. Oh, there was no going back! But he perceived he must be very
clever about it. He must make it all as easy as possible for her. His
heart contracted with tenderness as he took vows that could not have
been more religious if they had been made concerning celibacy instead of
concerning marriage. He regretted he was an Atheist. He had felt this
before in moments of urgency, for blasphemy abhors a vacuum, but now he
wanted some white high thing to swear by; something armed with powers of
eternal punishment to chastise him if he broke his oath. He found that
his eyes were swimming with tears. Yes, tears! Oh, she had extended life
to limits he had not dreamed of! He had never thought he would laugh out
loud as he had done to-night. He had never thought his eyes would grow
wet as they were doing now. And it was good. He looked at her in
gratitude, and found her looking at him.
"Fancy you being miserable! And me," she reproached herself, "thinking
that everybody was happy but myself! Dear...." She rose to it, walking
down to the cold water. "Let's marry soon."
The sequence of thought was to be followed easily. She was willing to
take this step, which for reasons she did not understand made her flesh
goose-grained with horror, because she thought she could prevent him
from being unhappy. "Oh, Ellen!" he cried out, and buried his head on
her bosom. "I want--I want to deserve you. I will work all my life to be
good enough for you." He felt the happiness of a man who has found a
religion.
They heard a key turning in the front door. Ellen slipped off his knee
and stood, first one foot behind the other, balanced on the ball of one
foot, a finger to her lips, in the attitude of a frightened nymph. Then
she recovered herself, and stood sturdily on both feet with her hands
behind her. How he adored her, this nymph who wanted to look like Mr.
Gladstone!
Mrs. Melville, pitifully blown about, a most ruffled little bird,
appeared at the door. She was amazed. "Mr. Yaverland! In the kitchen!
And, Ellen, what are you doing in your stocking feet? Away and take Mr.
Yaverland into the parlour!"
"He came in here himself," said Ellen. She had become a little girl, a
guilty little girl.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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