Scotland -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
From a bludgeoned look about him, which became more and more marked, she
was sure that he was being constantly dismissed for incompetence, but he
would never admit that. "I'm a funny chap, mummie," he would say
bravely, "I can't bear being shut up in the same place for long." And
she would nod understandingly and say, "Do as you like, dear, as long as
you're happy," because he wanted her to believe him. But she would be
sick with visions of this blanched, misbegotten thing standing smiling
and wriggling under the gibes of normal and brutal men throughout the
inexorably long workday, and then creeping to some mean room where it
would sit and snivel till the night fell across the small-paned window.
And through the sallow mist of her unavailing and repugnant pity there
flashed suddenly the lightning of certainty that some day the thing
would happen. But what thing? She would put her hand to her head, but
she was never able to remember.
And when he was twenty-two and living at Watford something did happen;
though it was not, she instantly recognised, the thing. She herself had
never been angered by it, although she hated telling Richard about it,
but had instantly perceived the pathos of the situation; her mind had
always done its duty by Roger. It told, of course, the most moving story
of loneliness and humiliation and hunger for respect and love that he
should have represented himself to the girl with whom he had been
walking out as a man of wealth and that after a rapturous afternoon at a
flower show he should have taken her to the best jeweller's in Watford
and given her a diamond brooch and earrings, for which, even with his
allowance, he could not possibly pay.
The visit to Watford she had to make to clear things up had seemed at
first the happiest event of all her relationship with Roger. It had been
unpleasant to find him grey with weeping and disgrace, but there had
been victory in forcing herself to comfort him with an exact imitation
of the note of love. It had been ridiculous to face the angry lady in
the case, who wore nodding poppies in her hat and had an immense
rectangular bust and hips like brackets, but it was pleasant to murmur,
"Oh, but he was speaking the truth. I'm quite comfortably off. I've come
to pay the jeweller," and watch the look of amazement on the hot,
high-coloured face giving place to anger and regret as it penetrated
into her that she had really had the chance of marrying a wealthy man,
and that after the things she had said that chance would be hers no
longer. Marion liked hurting the girl because she had hurt Roger. Marion
felt with satisfaction that the pleasure was a feeling a mother ought to
feel.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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