Scotland -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
This was a masterpiece of circumstance. By nothing more than a thin wall
which shook to music was this little home divided from a thick-aired
place where ugly people lurched against each other lustfully; and yet it
had been made an impregnable fort of loveliness and decency by this
virtuous ageing woman, whose slight silliness was but a holy abstinence,
a refusal to side with common sense because that was so often concerned
in cruel decisions, by this girl who was so young that it seemed at the
sight of her as if time had turned back again and earth rolled unstained
by history, and so beautiful that it seemed as if henceforth eternity
could frame nothing but happiness. The smile of Ellen had made a faery
ring where heavy-footed dancers could not enter; her gravity had made a
sanctuary as safe as any church crowned with a belfry and casketing the
Host. And he, participating in the safety of the place, pitied the men
behind the shaking wall, and all men over the world who had committed
themselves to that search for pleasure which makes joy inaccessible.
They had chosen frustration for their destiny. Because they desired some
ecstasy that would lighten the leaden substance of life they turned to
drunkenness, which did no more than jumble reality, steep the earth in
aniline dyes, tinge the sunset with magenta. Because they desired love
they sought out women who, although dedicated to sex, were sexually
cancelled by repeated use, like postage-stamps on a much re-directed
letter, who efficiently went through the form of passion, yet presented
it so empty of all exaltation that their lovers left them feeling as if
they were victims of a practical joke.
And here, not half a dozen yards from some of these seekers, was one who
could bring to these desires a lovelier death than they would meet on
the dirty bed of gratification or the hard pallet of renunciation.
Because the untouched truth about her could give ecstasy one would not
lose the power of seeing things as they are, and she made one forget the
usual sexual story. Although she was formed for love and the intention
of being her lover was now a fundamental part of him, she was so busy
with her voice and body in playing quaint variations on the theme of
herself that he did not mind how long might be the journey to their
marriage. She was more interesting than any other person or thing in the
world. She was going to have more interesting experiences; because her
unique simplicity comprehended a wild impatience with lies she would
have a claim on reality that would give her unprecedented wisdom. Now he
could understand why saints in their narrow cells despise sinners as
dull stay-at-homes.
And when she burst into the room again he saw that all he had been
thinking about her was true. It might be that everybody else on earth
would see her as nothing but a red-haired girl in an ill-fitting blue
serge dress with an appalling tartan silk vest, but still it was true.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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