Scotland -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
One of the candles had burnt to its socket, and at its guttering arms of
shadow seemed to whirl about them, and at its death the darkness seemed
to bend forward from the corners of the room and press them closer to
each other. Very soon she would be in his arms, and there would be an
exquisite, exciting contrast between the rough texture of the coat that
his hands would grasp and the smooth skin that his lips would meet. But
there would not. The passion that possessed him was so strong that it
killed sensation. He desired her body ardently, but only because it was
inhabited by her soul, for their flesh had become unreal. He felt an
exaltation, an illusion that he was being interpenetrated with light,
and the loveliness that he had thought of as Ellen seemed now only a
richly coloured film blown round the fact of her. If he wanted to hold
her close to him it was only that he might shatter these frail
substances with a harsh embrace and let their liberated souls stream out
like comets' hair. There followed a moment when wisdom seemed to
crackle like a lit fire in his head. The plan of the universe lay set
out among the coins on the table, and he looked down on it and said, "Of
course!" But immediately he had forgotten why he had said it. The world
was the same again. And Ellen was sitting there on the other side of the
table, and she seemed very real.
She murmured petulantly, "I can't remember a thing mother said.... I
can't remember what I've got to buy," and swept the money into her
pocket. She was fatigued and blinded, as though all day she had watched
a procession of burnished armies passing in strong sunlight. "Let's go
on," she said, and while he found his hat and coat in the lobby she went
and stood in the garden, ringing her heels on the cold stone of the
path, drinking in the iced air, abandoning herself to the chill of the
evening as if it were a refuge from him.
But they were happy almost at once. Like all clever adolescents, she had
a mind like a rag-bag full of scraps of silks and satins and calicoes
and old bits of ribbon which was constantly bursting and scattering a
trail of allusions that were irrelevant to the occasion of their
appearance, and so when he came to her side she began talking about
George Borrow. Didn't he love "Lavengro," him being a traveller? And had
he ever seen a prize-fight? Oh, Yaverland had. He had even had the
privilege of crossing the Atlantic in the cattleboat _ss. Glory_ with
Jim Corraway, since known to fame as Cardiff Jim. But he broke it to her
that now many of the best boxers were Jew lads from the East End of
London, and not a few came from the special schools for the
feeble-minded; feeble-mindedness often gave a man the uncloudable temper
that makes a good boxer.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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