The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and FantasiesZangwill, Israel
General
The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and Fantasies
Zangwill, Israel
Humorous stories; Jewish fiction; Jews -- England -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
So it was settled. I had four guests to lunch, and Jones expanded
visibly. The Infant and Towers kept Miss Harper pretty well to
themselves, while I was left to entertain Mrs. Windpeg, a comely but
tedious lady, who gave me details of her life in England since she
left New York, a newly married wife, twenty years before. She seemed
greatly interested in these details. Ethelberta paid no attention to
her aunt, but a great deal to my friends. Several times I found myself
gnawing my lip instead of my wing. But I had my revenge at the _table
d'hôte_. Jones kept my friends remorselessly at bay, and religiously
guarded my proximity to the lovely American. Strange mental
revolution! The idea of tipping Jones actually commenced to germinate
in my mind.
It was on Review-day that I realised I was hopelessly in love. Of
course my quartet of friends was at the windows of my sitting-room.
Jones also selected this room to see the Review from, and I fancy he
regaled my visitors with delicate refreshments throughout the day, and
I remember being vaguely glad that he made amends for the general
neglect of Mrs. Windpeg by offering her the choicest titbits; but I
have no clear recollection of anything but Ethelberta. Her face was my
Review, though there was no powder on it. The play of light on her
cheeks and hair was all the manoeuvres I cared for--the pearls of
her mouth were my ranged rows of ships; and when everybody else was
peering hopelessly into the thick smoke, my eyes were feasting on the
sunshine of her face. I did not hear the cannon, nor the long, endless
clamour of the packed streets, only the soft words she spoke from time
to time.
"To-morrow morning I must go away," I murmured to her at dinner. I
fancied she grew paler, but I could not be sure, for Jones at that
moment changed my plate.
"I am sorry," she said simply. "Must you go?"
"Yes," I answered sadly. "My beautiful holiday is over. To-morrow, to
work."
"I thought, for you lords, life was one long holiday," she said,
surprised.
I was glad of the reminder. My love was hopeless. A struggling doctor
could not ask for the hand of an heiress. Even if he could, it would
be a poor recommendation to start with a confession of imposture. To
ask, without confessing, were to become a scoundrel and a
fortune-hunter of the lowest type. No; better to pass from her ken,
leaving her memory of me untainted by suspicion--leaving my memory of
her an idyllic, unfinished dream. And yet I could not help reflecting,
with agony, that if I had not begun under false colours, if I had come
to her only as what I was, I might have dared to ask for her
love--yea, and perhaps have won it. Oh, how weak I had been not to
tell her from the first! As if she would not have appreciated the
joke! As if she would not have enrolled herself joyously in the
campaign against Jones!
"Ah! my life will be anything but a long holiday, I fear," I sighed.
"Say, you're not an hereditary legislator?" she asked.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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