The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and FantasiesZangwill, Israel
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The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and Fantasies
Zangwill, Israel
Humorous stories; Jewish fiction; Jews -- England -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
"I let Mrs. Windpeg tell Jones all about me--imaginatively," she went
on with a sad smile; "I told her to call me Harper, because _Harper's
Magazine_ came into my mind. But it was Jones who seated us together.
I will believe that you took a genuine liking to me; still, it was a
foolish freak on both sides, and we must both forget it as soon as
possible."
"I can never forget it!" I said passionately; "I love you; and I dare
to think you care for me, though while you fancied I was a peer you
stifled the feeling that had grown up despite you. Believe me, I
understand the purity of your motives, and love you the more for
them."
She shook her head.
"Good-bye!" she faltered.
"I will not say 'good-bye'! I have little to offer you, but it
includes a heart that is aching for you. There is no reason now why we
should part."
Her lips were white in the moonlight.
"I never said I loved you," she murmured.
"Not in so many words," I admitted; "but why did you let me call you
Ethelberta?" I asked passionately.
"Because it is not my name," she answered; and a ghost of the old gay
smile lit up the lovely features.
I stood for a moment dumbfounded. Unconsciously we had come to a
standstill under the window of the dining-room.
She took advantage of my consternation to say more lightly:
"Come, let us part friends."
I dimly understood that, in some subtle way I was too coarse to
comprehend, she was ashamed of the part she had played throughout,
that she would punish herself by renunciation. I knew not what to say;
I saw the happiness of my life fading before my eyes. She held out her
hand for the last time and I clasped it mechanically. So we stood,
silent.
"What does that matter, Mrs. Windpeg? You're a real lady, that's
enough for me. It wasn't because I thought you had money that I
ventured to raise my eyes to you."
We started. It was the voice of Jones. Mrs. Windpeg had evidently
lingered too long over her dessert.
"But I tell you I have nothing at all--nothing!" came the voice of
Mrs. Windpeg.
"I don't want it. You see, I'm like you--not what I seem. This place
belongs to me, only I was born and bred a waiter in this very hotel,
and I don't see why the 'ouse shouldn't profit by the tips instead of
a stranger. My son does the show part; but he ain't fit for anything
but reading Dickens and other low-class writers, and I feel the want
of a real lady, knowing the ways of the aristocrats. What with Lord
Porchester and Lord Everett, it looks as if this hotel is going to be
fashionable and I know there's lots of 'igh-class wrinkles I ain't
picked up yet. Only lately I was flummoxed by a gent asking for a
liqueur I'd never 'eard of. You're mixed up with tip-top swells; I
loved you from the moment I saw you fold your first _serviette_. I'm a
widower, you're a widow. Let bygones be bygones. Why shouldn't we make
a match of it?"
We looked at each other and laughed; false subtleties were swept away
by a wave of mutual merriment.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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