The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and FantasiesZangwill, Israel
General
The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and Fantasies
Zangwill, Israel
Humorous stories; Jewish fiction; Jews -- England -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
"That's what I say," returned Manasseh; "and never did I think a
son-in-law of mine would meditate selling my holy soil for a paltry
five shillings! I will not withdraw my promise, but I am disappointed
in you--bitterly disappointed. Had I known this earth was not to cover
your bones, it should have gone down to the grave with me, as enjoined
in my last will and testament, by the side of which it stands in my
safe."
"Very vell, I von't sell it," said Yankelé sulkily.
"You relieve my soul. As the _Mishnah_ says, 'He who marries a wife
for money begets froward children.'"
"And vat about de province in England?" asked Yankelé, in low,
despondent tones. He had never believed in _that_, but now, behind all
his despair and incredulity, was a vague hope that something might yet
be saved from the crash.
"Oh, you shall choose your own," replied Manasseh graciously. "We will
get a large map of London, and I will mark off in red pencil the
domain in which I _schnorr_. You will then choose any district in
this--say, two main streets and a dozen byways and alleys--which
shall be marked off in blue pencil, and whatever province of my
kingdom you pick, I undertake not to _schnorr_ in, from your
wedding-day onwards. I need not tell you how valuable such a province
already is; under careful administration, such as you would be able to
give it, the revenue from it might be doubled, trebled. I do not think
your tribute to me need be more than ten per cent."
Yankelé walked along mesmerised, reduced to somnambulism by his
magnificently masterful patron.
"Oh, here we are!" said Manasseh, stopping short. "Won't you come in
and see the bride, and wish her joy?"
A flash of joy came into Yankelé's own face, dissipating his glooms.
After all there was always da Costa's beautiful daughter--a solid,
substantial satisfaction. He was glad she was not an item of the
dowry.
The unconscious bride opened the door.
[Illustration: "THE UNCONSCIOUS BRIDE OPENED THE DOOR."]
"Ah, ha, Yankelé!" said Manasseh, his paternal heart aglow at the
sight of her loveliness. "You will be not only a king, but a rich
king. As it is written, 'Who is rich? He who hath a beautiful wife.'"
CHAPTER V.
SHOWING HOW THE KING DISSOLVED THE MAHAMAD.
Manasseh da Costa (thus docked of his nominal plenitude in the solemn
writ) had been summoned before the Mahamad, the intended union of his
daughter with a Polish Jew having excited the liveliest horror and
displeasure in the breasts of the Elders of the Synagogue. Such a Jew
did not pronounce Hebrew as they did!
[Illustration: "THE ELDERS OF THE SYNAGOGUE."]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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