The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and FantasiesZangwill, Israel
General
The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and Fantasies
Zangwill, Israel
Humorous stories; Jewish fiction; Jews -- England -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
"And a vastly proper law," said Manasseh with irony. "Everybody may
vote but the _Schnorrer_." And, ignoring the Chancellor's point at
great length, he remarked confidentially to the Chief of the Elders,
at whose elbow he was still encamped, "It is curious how few of your
Elders perceive that those who take the charity are the pillars of
the Synagogue. What keeps your community together? Fines. What ensures
respect for your constitution? Fines. What makes every man do his
duty? Fines. What rules this very Mahamad? Fines. And it is the poor
who provide an outlet for all these moneys. Egad, do you think your
members would for a moment tolerate your penalties, if they did not
know the money was laid out in 'good deeds'? Charity is the salt of
riches, says the Talmud, and, indeed, it is the salt that preserves
your community."
"Have done, sir, have done!" shouted the President, losing all regard
for those grave amenities of the ancient Council Chamber which
Manasseh did his best to maintain. "Do you forget to whom you are
talking?"
"I am talking to the Chief of the Elders," said Manasseh in a wounded
tone, "but if you would like me to address myself to you--" and
wheeling round the Chief of the Elders, he landed his chair next to
the President's.
"Silence, fellow!" thundered the President, shrinking spasmodically
from his confidential contact. "You have no right to a voice at all;
as the Chancellor has reminded us, you are not even a Yahid, a
congregant."
"Then the laws do not apply to me," retorted the beggar quietly. "It
is only the Yahid who is privileged to do this, who is prohibited from
doing that. No _Ascama_ mentions the _Schnorrer_, or gives you any
authority over him."
"On the contrary," said the Chancellor, seeing the President
disconcerted again, "he is bound to attend the weekday services. But
this man hardly ever does, sir." "I _never_ do," corrected Manasseh,
with touching sadness. "That is another of the privileges I have to
forego in order to take your charity; I cannot risk appearing to my
Maker in the light of a mercenary."
"And what prevents you taking your turn in the graveyard watches?"
sneered the Chancellor.
The antagonists were now close together, one on either side of the
President of the Mahamad, who was wedged between the two bobbing,
quarrelling figures, his complexion altering momently for the blacker,
and his fingers working nervously.
"What prevents me?" replied Manasseh. "My age. It would be a sin
against heaven to spend a night in the cemetery. If the body-snatchers
did come they might find a corpse to their hand in the watch-tower.
But I do my duty--I always pay a substitute."
"No doubt," said the Treasurer. "I remember your asking me for the
money to keep an old man out of the cemetery. Now I see what you
meant."
"Yes," began two others, "and I--"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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