The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and FantasiesZangwill, Israel
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The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and Fantasies
Zangwill, Israel
Humorous stories; Jewish fiction; Jews -- England -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
"Order, gentlemen, order," interrupted the President desperately, for
the afternoon was flitting, the sun was setting, and the shadows of
twilight were falling. "You must not argue with the man. Hark you, my
fine fellow, we refuse to sanction this marriage; it shall not be
performed by our ministers, nor can we dream of admitting your
son-in-law as a Yahid."
"Then admit him on your Charity List," said Manasseh.
"We are more likely to strike _you_ off! And, by gad!" cried the
President, tattooing on the table with his whole fist, "if you don't
stop this scandal instanter, we will send you howling."
[Illustration: "'IF YOU DON'T STOP THIS SCANDAL INSTANTER, WE WILL
SEND YOU HOWLING!'"]
"Is it excommunication you threaten?" said Manasseh, rising to his
feet. There was a menacing glitter in his eye.
"This scandal must be stopped," repeated the President, agitatedly
rising in involuntary imitation.
"Any member of the Mahamad could stop it in a twinkling," said
Manasseh sullenly. "You yourself, if you only chose."
"If I only chose?" echoed the President enquiringly.
"If you only chose my daughter. Are you not a bachelor? I am convinced
she could not say nay to anyone present--excepting the Chancellor.
Only no one is really willing to save the community from this scandal,
and so my daughter must marry as best she can. And yet, it is a
handsome creature who would not disgrace even a house in Hackney."
Manasseh spoke so seriously that the President fumed the more. "Let
her marry this Pole," he ranted, "and you shall be cut off from us in
life and death. Alive, you shall worship without our walls, and dead
you shall be buried 'behind the boards.'"
"For the poor man--excommunication," said Manasseh in ominous
soliloquy. "For the rich man--permission to marry the Tedesco of his
choice."
"Leave the room, fellow," vociferated the President. "You have heard
our ultimatum!"
But Manasseh did not quail.
"And you shall hear mine," he said, with a quietness that was the more
impressive for the President's fury. "Do not forget, Mr. President,
that you and I owe allegiance to the same brotherhood. Do not forget
that the power which made you can unmake you at the next election; do
not forget that if I have no vote I have vast influence; that there is
not a Yahid whom I do not visit weekly; that there is not a
_Schnorrer_ who would not follow me in my exile. Do not forget that
there is another community to turn to--yes! that very Ashkenazic
community you contemn--with the Treasurer of which I talked but just
now; a community that waxes daily in wealth and greatness while you
sleep in your sloth." His tall form dominated the chamber, his head
seemed to touch the ceiling. The Councillors sat dazed as amid a
lightning-storm.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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