"You told me so; but you said it softly, slowly, coldly. Could I believe
you? Could I divine that this man was only Stavros' jailer? That he
remained here to give the bandits time to get back? That he frightened
us with imaginary dangers? That he claimed to have been besieged in
order to have us admire him? That he simulated the night attacks to make
it appear that he was defending us? I see all now, but tell us if you
have nothing to say?"
"My God! Madame, I told all I knew; I did what I could!"
"But, German, who are you? In your place an Englishman would have
sacrificed his life for us, and I would have given him my daughter's
hand!"
Wild poppies are very scarlet, but I was more than that when I heard
Mrs. Simons' speech. I was so troubled that I dared not raise my eyes,
nor respond; neither did I ask the good woman what she meant by her
words. Because, in a word, why should a person as harsh as she had shown
herself to be, use such language before her daughter and before me? By
what door had this idea of marriage entered her mind? Was Mrs. Simons
truly a woman to award her daughter, as an honest recompense, to the
first liberator? There were no signs of it. Was it not rather a cruel
irony addressed to my most secret thoughts?
When I examined myself I ascertained, with legitimate pride, the
innocent warmth of all my sentiments. I render this justice to myself,
that the fire of passion had not raised a degree the temperature of my
heart. At each instant of the day, in order to test myself, I occupied
myself with thinking of Mary-Ann. I built castles in Spain, of which she
was the mistress. I planned romances, of which she was the heroine and I
the hero. I thought of the most absurd things. I imagined events as
improbable as the history of the Princess Ypsoff and Lieutenant
Reynauld. I even went so far as to see the pretty English girl seated at
my right on the back seat of a post-chaise, with her beautiful arm
around my long neck. All these flattering suppositions, which should
have agitated deeply a soul less philosophical than mine, did not
disturb my serenity. I did not experience the alternatives of fear and
hope which are the symptoms of love. Never, no, never, have I felt those
great convulsions of the heart which are recorded in romances. Then I
did not love Mary-Ann. I was a man without reproach. I could walk with
uplifted head. But Mrs. Simons, who had not read my thoughts, was
perfectly capable of deceiving herself as to the nature of my devotion.
Who knows whether she did not suspect me of being in love with her
daughter; whether she had not misinterpreted my trouble and my timidity;
whether she had not let slip the word marriage, in order to force me to
betray myself. My pride revolted against so unjust a suspicion, and I
replied in a firm tone, without looking her in the face:
"Madame, if I was sufficiently fortunate to rescue you from here, I
swear to you that it would not be in order to marry your daughter."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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