Great Britain -- Fiction; Political fiction; Science fiction
"Since your escape I have been under the strictest surveillance,
and as I have recovered from my gout I have been set to work upon
the ignoble task of breaking stone into small bits with a hammer. I
am known as No. 5, and am called by no other name. Imagine me, who
found it so difficult to look out for Number One, having to care
for No. 5. Indeed, I should find it well-nigh impossible were it
not for the assistance which I have from the warders and turnkeys,
who look after me with a touching solicitude. No physician could
have kept me to a regimen so suitable for my health as strictly as
they. You remember how I used to enjoy lying abed in the morning.
What a pleasure it was to wake up, to feel that the busy world was
astir around you, and lie half awake, half asleep, stretching your
toes into cool recesses of a soft, luxurious bed. But it made me
idle, very idle. But now I must be off my hard cot, be dressed and
have my cot made up by half-past five; then I breakfast off a piece
of bread, washed down with a pint of unsweetened rye coffee
innocent of milk, drunk _au naturel_ out of a tin pail. And how I
miss my after-breakfast cigar and the _Times_, as I put my hands
upon a fellow-convict's shoulder and march in slow procession to my
task. The work of breaking a large piece of stone into smaller bits
with a hammer is not an intellectual one; but it has got me into
tolerable training; I have lost twenty pounds already, and am, as
we used to say at the university, as 'hard as nails.' I am afraid
that my old trousers, which my tailor used to let out year by year,
would be a world too large for my shrunk shanks now. I dine at
noon, as you remember, and for the first time in my life I do not
dress for dinner; indeed, a white cravat and a dress coat would be
inappropriate, when one sits down to bean porridge and boiled beef
served in the same tin plate. But I have a good appetite after my
pulverizing of the morning, and I am not compelled to set the table
in a roar under duress. I am surprised what good things I think of
now that I am not expected to and have no one to whom to say them.
Jawkins would double my salary could he get me out. Rye coffee is a
poor substitute for Chambertin, but it does not aggravate my gout.
After dinner I return to my stone-breaking, and feel with delight
my growing biceps muscle, and after my supper, which is
monotonously like my breakfast, I tackle the tracts, which are left
with me by kindly souls. They are of a class of literature which I
have neglected since childhood, having, as you may remember, a
leaning toward 'facetiae.' In fact, since my great-aunt's withdrawal
to another world, where it may be hoped that the stones are more
brittle and the coffee better, I have seen none. I cannot say that
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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