"Why not? Just for once?" Judith replied. "Why shouldn't we play at
them, like a game with the Imps? Shall I begin? I will give you an
opening. Do you like my dress? And my hair? I dressed for you. I know
you like me, of course. But there are times, when a woman likes to be
told--what she knows!"
The King was surprised, and not a little embarrassed. This was not the
Judith he had expected. This was not the Judith of the afternoon. This
was that other strange, dangerous Judith, of the night before. She had
warned him that--it might happen again. True. But he had never imagined
that it would happen again, so soon--
The entrance of the light-footed parlour-maid, in neat black, who was
responsible for the service of the meal, at that moment, covered the
King's silent confusion.
So long as the maid was in the room only trivial surface conversation
was possible.
The King compelled himself to play his necessary, outward social
part. But he was uneasily aware, all the time, inwardly, that Judith
had noticed his embarrassment and that she was likely to resume her
unexpected attack at the first opportunity. His intuition proved
correct; but only partially correct. Judith was quick to take advantage
of the first of the maid's temporary absences from the room to return
to more intimate talk. But she struck, at once, a quieter, graver note.
"What is it, Alfred?" she asked. "Do I trouble you? I am sorry. It was
selfish of me. I knew that I was playing with fire, of course. But--a
woman grows tired of leaving everything unsaid."
Her implied appeal, and her insistence on her feminine weakness--a
thing unprecedented in her!--moved the King. He felt ashamed of his own
caution.
"If I had the right to make pretty speeches--" he began.
Then he checked himself abruptly.
What was the use of evasion? Had not Judith and he agreed that plain
speaking was their only hope? Judith had spoken plainly enough. The
least he could do was to speak plainly, too. And, suddenly, at the
back of his mind, now, were thoughts, which he had never suspected in
himself, clamouring for expression,--
"But I haven't the right!" he exclaimed. "I haven't any right to be
here, really. I see that now. I am in an utterly false position. I
ought not to be here. I ought not to have come here, as I have done. It
was not fair--to either of us. It was asking too much of--both of us.
Why haven't I seen that before? I shut my eyes to it, deliberately, I
am afraid. It was a mistake. It has been a mistake all through. I have
been absolutely selfish. I have thought only of myself. It is only
right that I should have to pay for my mistake. But the payment is all
on your side. It has been give, give, give, all the time, on your side.
And take, take, take, all the time, on mine. And I can make no return--"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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