Americans -- England -- Fiction; Brothers -- Fiction; Love stories
"Yes," he said. "I knew you'd be sorry for me. I guess pity is about the
cheapest commodity on the market. But--you'll hardly believe it--I don't
want your pity. After all, a man is himself, and it can't be of much
importance where he springs from--anyway, to the woman who loves him."
He spoke recklessly, and yet she seemed to detect a vein of entreaty
in his words. She steeled her heart against it, but it affected her
none the less.
"Nap," she said firmly, "there must be no more talk of love between us. I
told you this afternoon that I would not listen, and I will not. Do you
understand me? It must end here and now. I am in earnest."
"You don't say!" said Nap.
He was standing close to her, and again fear stabbed her--fear that was
almost abhorrence. There was something about him that was horribly
suggestive of a menacing animal.
"I am in earnest," she said again. But she could not meet his eyes any
longer. She dared not let him read her soul just then.
"I am in earnest too," said Nap. "But you needn't be afraid of me on that
account. I may be a savage, but I'm not despicable. If I take more than
you are prepared to offer it's only because I know it to be my own." He
bent towards her, trying to see her face. "My own, Anne!" he said again
very softly. "My own!"
But at his movement she drew back sharply, with a gesture of such
instinctive, such involuntary recoil, that in an instant she knew that
she had betrayed that which she had sought to hide.
He stiffened as if at a blow, and she saw his hands clench. In the
silence that followed she stood waiting for the storm to burst, waiting
for his savagery to tear asunder all restraining bonds and leap forth in
devilish fury. But--by what means she knew not--he held it back.
"So," he said at last, his voice very low, "the Queen has no further use
for her jester!"
Her heart smote her. What had she done? She felt as if she had cruelly
wounded a friend. But because he demanded of her more than friendship,
she dared not attempt to allay the hurt. She stood silent.
"Can't you find another _rôle_ for me?" he said. "You will find it
difficult to exclude me altogether from the cast."
Something in his tone pierced her, compelled her. She glanced up swiftly,
met his eyes, and was suddenly caught, as it were, in fiery chains, so
that she could not look away. And there before her the gates of hell
opened, and she saw a man's soul in torment. She saw the flames mount
higher and higher, scorching and shrivelling and destroying, till at last
she could bear the sight no longer. She covered her face with her hands
and blotted it out.
"Oh, Nap," she moaned, "if you love me--if you love me--"
"If I love you--" he said.
He put his hand on her shoulder and she trembled from head to foot.
"Prove your love!" she whispered, her face still hidden.
He stood awhile motionless, still with his hand upon her. But at last it
fell away.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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