He went on rapidly, as if she had not spoken. "And then I came to you. And--I found--I found Luke--in possession. Well, that was the end of everything for me. I couldn't help knowing that it was the best thing that could possibly happen to either of you. And I--well, I was just out of it. I would have gone again that night, but Luke wouldn't have it. He suspected from the first, though I lied to him--I lied royally. But I couldn't keep it up. He was too many for me. He wouldn't let me drop out, but neither would I let him. I fought every inch. I wouldn't let him die. I held him night and day--night and day. I knew what it meant to you too, and I knew you would help me afterwards to drop out. My whole soul was in it, but even so, I couldn't hold on for ever. I had to slacken at last, and he--he slackened too. I knew it directly, felt him losing hold. That was two days before he died. And I pulled myself together and grabbed him again. I think he knew. He tried to wake up, said he'd get well, made me let go of him, made me explain things to you. And then--well, I guess he thought his part was done--so he just--let go." Abruptly he turned from her and leaned again upon the rail, lodging his head on his hands. "That's all," he said. "But if Tawny had taken it into his fool brain to make an end of me a little sooner--as I meant him to--I know very well Luke would have hung on--somehow--for your sake. Oh, I wish to heaven he had!" he burst out fiercely. "I'm not fit to speak to you, not fit to touch your hand. You--you--I believe you'd be kind to me if I would let you. But I won't--I won't! I'm going away. It rests with me now to protect you somehow, and there is no other way." He ceased to speak, and in the silence she watched his bent head, greatly wondering, deeply pitying. When he stood up again she knew that the tumult that tore his soul had been forced down out of sight. "You see how it is with me, Anne," he said very sadly. "Tawny Hudson thinks I'm a devil, and I'm not sure--even now--that he isn't right. That's why I'm going away. I won't have you trust me, for I can't trust myself. And you have no one to protect you from me. So you won't blame me for going? You'll understand?" His words went straight to her heart. She felt the quick tears rising, but she kept them back. She knew that he needed strength from her just then. And so, after a moment, she commanded herself, and answered him. "I think you are quite right to go, Nap. And--yes, I understand. Only--some day--some day--come back again!" He leaned towards her. His face had flashed into sudden vitality at her words. He made a movement as if he would take her into his arms. And then abruptly, almost with violence, he withdrew himself, and gripped his hands together behind him.