The Knickerbocker, or New-York Monthly Magazine, June 1844: Volume 23, Number 6Various
General
The Knickerbocker, or New-York Monthly Magazine, June 1844: Volume 23, Number 6
Various
Periodicals
I had known her now a year, and yet I hardly knew her at all; for I had
seen her scarcely ever, except when it was impossible to avoid it, and
those occasions were not frequent or long enough to enable me to learn
perfectly her mind and character. From every such meeting, I went away
resolved to see her no more in future; which resolution was sure to be
overruled by second and more bitter thoughts. How I lived during that
year, I scarcely know; or how it was that I grew uneasy away from her, and
frequently surprised myself courting her society. But as time rolled on,
so it was. There was a fascination about her, the magic of which was, that
it charmed to sleep my vigilant suspicion. I did not perceive any change
in myself, when night after night I was with her, talking to her about
poetry, beauty, love, and the thousand themes that interest the
unrestrained youthful heart; or that I was different from what I used to
be, when I listened to her, with a gush of pleasure, as she spoke at once
with lips and eyes, and in speaking, disclosed the unimagined riches of
her mind and heart. So gradual was the change, that I was wholly unaware
of it.
But of one thing I was aware; the face of nature and of man underwent a
strange and sudden change in appearance. I looked into the face of my
neighbor, and lo, he was my brother! The fire of benevolence and sympathy
warmed every vein, and a new life animated every nerve within me. I felt
no longer that I was alone, but that indissoluble cords bound me to the
whole human family, to every being in whose nostrils was the breath of
life; and that for his good, as well as for my own, it was my business to
labor. New motives of action, (or rather motives of action, for there were
none before,) were set before me; and I felt light of heart and wing;
eager to bound forward and lend the strength of my arm to the cause of the
race. The face of nature too was altered. Every part that came within the
range of my vision, her seasons, her vestments in winter and summer, her
sunshine and clouds, each one was a melody, and all together made harmony.
Still, I was scarcely sensible that I was different from what I was a year
ago; for at each period I felt that I was in my natural and proper state
of mind. So slight are the influences necessary to turn the young heart
into the permanent channel of selfishness, hatred and unhappiness, or into
that of love and peace!
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