The Knickerbocker, or New-York Monthly Magazine, March 1844: Volume 23, Number 3Various
Philosophy
The Knickerbocker, or New-York Monthly Magazine, March 1844: Volume 23, Number 3
Various
Periodicals
HARVEY'S exhibition-room at the old Apollo
Gallery, nearly opposite the Hospital, in Broadway. . . . HERE is a
pleasant specimen of an '_Unnecessary Disclaimer_,' for which we are
indebted to a metropolitan friend: 'A few evenings since, as a gentleman
was walking up Broadway, and just as he was crossing the side-walk at the
junction of White-street, his feet suddenly slipped from under him, his
hat flew forward with the involuntary jerk, and he measured his length on
the side-walk, striking his bare head on the hard ice, till all rang
again. At the instant it chanced that a lady and gentleman were just
emerging from White-street into Broadway, and the prostrate sufferer,
lying directly across their path, interrupted for a moment their farther
progress. He soon recovered his feet, however, and with one hand on his
newly-developed bump, and the other on his breast, he turned to the couple
whose passage he had impeded, and exclaimed with cool gravity: 'Excuse me;
_I didn't intend to do it!_' Probably he didn't; at all events, his word
was not disputed. . . . MOST likely our readers have not forgotten an
admirable satire upon the 'Songs of the Troubadours,' from which we
extracted some months since the affecting story of 'The Taylzour's
Daughter.' Something in the same style is '_The Doleful Lay of the
Honorable I. O. Uwins_,' a gentleman who threw himself away upon a
bailiff's daughter, to escape from the restraints and pungent odors of a
sponging-house. The 'whole course of wooing' and the result are hinted at
in the ensuing lines:
'There he sate in grief and sorrow,
Rather drunk than otherwise,
Till the golden gush of morrow
Dawned once more upon his eyes;
Till the spunging bailiff's daughter,
Lightly tapping at the door,
Brought his draught of soda-water,
Brandy-bottomed as before.
'Sweet REBECCA! has your father,
Think you, made a deal of brass?'
And she answered: 'Sir, I rather
Should imagine that he has.'
UWINS, then, his whiskers scratching,
Leer'd upon the maiden's face;
And her hands with ardor catching,
Folded her in his embrace.
'La, Sir! let alone--you fright me!'
Said the daughter of the Jew:
'Dearest! how these eyes delight me!
Let me love thee, darling, do!'
'Vat is dish?' the bailiff mutter'd,
Rushing in with fury wild;
'Ish your muffins so vell butter'd
Dat you darsh insult ma shild?'
'Honorable my intentions,
Good ABEDNEGO, I swear!
And I have some small pretensions,
For I am a Baron's heir.
If you'll only clear my credit,
And a thousand give or so,
She's a peeress; I have said it!
Don't you twig, ABEDNEGO?'
'Datsh a very different matter!'
Said the bailiff, with a leer;
'But you musht not cut it fatter
Than ta slish will shtand, ma tear!
If you seeksh ma approbation,
You must quite give up your rigsh;
Alsho, you mosht join our nation,
And renounch ta flesh of pigsh.'
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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