The Knickerbocker, Vol. 10, No. 6, December 1837Various
History
The Knickerbocker, Vol. 10, No. 6, December 1837
Various
Periodicals
ONE or two credulous persons have fancied that the sketch of 'Smith
of Smithopolis' was designed as an imputation upon the name. The
said imputation is disdained, by these presents. I have a decided
regard for that style and title: companionship, familiarity, personal
knowledge, (so grateful to the inquiring mind,) are its synonyms.
Beside, I honor the name, for sundry associations. Who has never
rode in a rail-car, a steam-boat, or a coach, with a person of the
name of Smith? Or heard him speak at a public meeting? Or owed him a
trifle? Or had a trifle due from him, the Smith aforesaid? _Nemo_--'I
undertake to say'--(in fact I not only _undertake_ this vocal
enterprise, but I _accomplish_ it.) Aside, reader, 'tis a criticism
on the phrase; which whoso uses when he knows what he is about to set
down in palpable chirography, is a _sumph_ unqualified: _Anglice_,
one of the flat 'uns, named of _Stulti_.
The Smiths are numerous, 'tis said. Grant it. Who pays more
post-office revenue? Who more quickly resents a jeer upon the name?
Tell me that. 'Not nobody.' Would you look for heroes? The Smiths
could supply them. For female goodness and devotion? The same, from
the same. For wit, genius, and elevated-talent? _Vide_ Horace and
James, of the Addresses, and Richard Penn; the studious scholar, good
lawyer, quaint citizen, novelist, poet, dramatist--every thing clever.
* * * * *
I HAD many more things to say, courteous reader; but I fear,
from what I have written, you may augur a bore. Heaven forfend!
Consequently, thine in conclusion, I write myself, henceforth, now,
and formerly,
OLLAPOD.
FOOTNOTE:
[10] Apropos of this 'supererogatory and adscititious' prohibition.
The small steamers which ply on the beautiful Connecticut, above the
ancient fortification of 'Göed Höop,' renowned in KNICKERBOCKER's
veracious history, and now known as 'Dutch Point,' have but one
paddle-wheel, which is placed some six or eight feet astern. The
voyager in these pretty craft is forcibly struck with the necessity
of obeying a printed order, conspicuously posted: _No smoking abaft
the wheel!_' And those who watch from the shore the locomotive column
of spray, (like the 'pillar of cloud by day' that concealed the
Israelites,) which hides the boat from view, in its upward passage,
must also be of opinion that his 'pipe' would be soon 'put-out,' who
should attempt to smoke in so moist a region.
EXAMPLE.
HIS faults that in a private station sits,
Do mainly harm him only that commits:
Those placed on high a bright example owe--
Much to themselves, more to the crowd below.
A paltry watch, in private pocket borne,
Misleads but him alone by whom 'tis worn;
But the town-clock, that steeples oft display,
By going wrong, leads half the town astray.
THE COMING OF WINTER.
I.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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