“No matter, can't open the door now. Court is about to sit,” replied the
Collector. “Mrs. Gwynne stands arraigned for--for what is't? There 's no
use in making that clatter; the door shall not be opened.”
This speech was scarcely uttered, when a tremendous bang was heard, and
the worthy Collector, with the door over him, was hurled on his face in
the midst of the apartment, upsetting in his progress a round table and
a lamp over the assembled group of ladies.
Screams of terror, rage, pain, and laughter were now commingled; and
while some assisted the prostrate official to rise, and sprinkled his
temples with water, others bestowed their attentions on the discomfited
fair, whose lustre was sadly diminished by lamp-oil and bruises, while
a third section, of which M'Farland was chief, lay back in their chairs
and laughed vociferously. Meanwhile, how and when nobody could tell,
Lady Eleanor and her daughter had escaped and gained their apartments in
safety.
A more rueful scene than the room presented need not be imagined. The
Collector, whose nose bled profusely, sat pale, half fainting, in
one corner, while some kind friends labored to stop the bleeding, and
restore him to animation. Lamentations of the most poignant grief were
uttered over silks, satins, and tabinets irretrievably ruined; while
the paralytic lady having broken the ribbon of her cap, her head rolled
about fearfully, and even threatened to come clean off altogether. As
for poor Mrs. Fumbally, she flew from place to place, in a perfect agony
of affliction; now wringing her hands over the prostrate door, now over
the fragments of the lamp, and now endeavoring to restore the table,
which, despite all her efforts, would not stand upon two legs. But the
most miserable figure of all was Paul Dempsey, who saw no footing for
himself anywhere. Lady Eleanor and Helen must detest him to the day
of his death. The boarders could never forgive him. Mrs. Fum would as
certainly regard him as the author of all evil, and the Collector would
inevitably begin dunning him for an unsettled balance of fourteen and
ninepence, lost at “Spoiled five” two winters before.
Already, indeed, symptoms of his unpopularity began to show themselves.
Angry looks and spiteful glances were directed towards him, amidst
muttered expressions of displeasure. How far these manifestations might
have proceeded there is no saying, had not the attention of the company
been drawn to the sudden noise of a carriage stopping at the street
door.
“Going, flitting, evacuating the territory!” exclaimed M'Farland, as
from an open window he contemplated the process of packing a post-chaise
with several heavy trunks and portmanteaus.
“The Gwynnes!” muttered the Collector, with his handkerchief to his
face.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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