"Not I," said the orderly coolly. "The chief's got quite enough to do without listening to the men's complaints." "Then bring me a drink of water directly." "All right," said the man good-humouredly; "but you'd better not." "Better not? Why?" "Because it only makes you cry. Runs out of your eyes again in big drops, just as it does out of another fellow's skin in perspiration. Strikes me, corp'ral, that you were meant for a gal." "You won't be happy till you've been reported, my man," said the patient. "And I sha'n't be happy then, mate. Want a drink o' water?" "Yes; but things are managed here so that the patients have to beg and pray for it." "And then they gets it," said the orderly good-humouredly as he dipped the tin again; "and that's more than you can say about what most chaps begs and prays for. There you are." "Well, help me up," said the corporal. "Yah! Sit up. You can." "Oh!" groaned the man in a peculiar way which sounded as if he were not satisfied with its effectiveness, and so turned it into a whine. "Won't do with me, corp'ral," said the man. "You gammoned the doctor, but you haven't took me in a bit." "Only wait!" said the patient in a miserable whining tone this time. "How cowardly! What a shame for such as you to be put in charge of wounded men!" "Wounded!" said the orderly, laughing. "Why, your skin is as whole as mine is. You've frightened yourself into the belief that you're very bad." "Ah! you'll alter your tone when I've reported you." "Look here, corp'ral; it strikes me that, with the row that's coming on about you and the captain charging the officers with being cowards, there's going to be such a shine and court-martial that you'll have your work cut out to take care of yourself. Here, put your arm over my shoulder, and up you come." "Eh?" said the corporal in a much more natural tone. "Eh--what?" "About the court-martial?" "Oh, I don't know. I only said what I thought," said the orderly, winking to himself. "Now then, up you come. Mind the water." He supported the corporal gently enough, and helped him to raise the water to his lips, watching him as he drained it, and then lowered him gently down and knelt, still looking at him, till the corporal gazed back at him wonderingly. "What are you staring at?" he said sharply. "You, old man." "Why?" "I was thinking. Your knocks have made you quite off your head." "That they haven't. I'm as clear over everything as you are." "Oh no," said the orderly. "You're quite off your chump, and don't know what you're saying." "You're a fool," said the corporal angrily. "Tell me something I don't know, old chap. Fool? Why, of course I was, to 'list and come out for a holiday like this. Oh yes, plenty of us feels what fools we've been; but we're making the best of it--like men. D'yer hear--like men? I say, the captain's regularly raving, ain't he?" "Well, er--yes--no."