The Lady of the Barge and Others, Entire CollectionJacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
The Lady of the Barge and Others, Entire Collection
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction
“‘It’s the _tiger!_’ ses Bill Chambers, and afore you could wink a’most
he was inside the house, ’aving first upset Smith and a pot o’ beer in
the doorway.
“Before he could get up, Smith ’ad to wait till we was all in. His
langwidge was awful for a man as ’ad a license to lose, and everybody
shouting ‘Tiger!’ as they trod on ’im didn’t ease ’is mind. He was
inside a’most as soon as the last man, though, and in a flash he ’ad
the door bolted just as the tramp flung ’imself agin it, all out of
breath and sobbing ’is hardest to be let in.
“‘Open the door,’ he ses, banging on it.
“‘Go away,’ ses Smith.
“‘It’s the tiger,’ screams the tramp; ‘open the door.’
“‘You go away,’ ses Smith, ‘you’re attracting it to my place; run up
the road and draw it off.’”
“Just at that moment John Biggs, the blacksmith, come in from the
taproom, and as soon as he ’eard wot was the matter ’e took down
Smith’s gun from behind the bar and said he was going out to look after
the wimmen and children.
“‘Open the door,’ he ses.
“He was trying to get out and the tramp outside was trying to get in,
but Smith held on to that door like a Briton. Then John Biggs lost ’is
temper, and he ups with the gun—Smith’s own gun, mind you—and fetches
’im a bang over the ’ead with it. Smith fell down at once, and afore we
could ’elp ourselves the door was open, the tramp was inside, and John
Biggs was running up the road, shouting ’is hardest.
“We ’ad the door closed afore you could wink a’most, and then, while
the tramp lay in a corner ’aving brandy, Mrs. Smith got a bowl of water
and a sponge and knelt down bathing ’er husband’s ’ead with it.
“‘Did you see the tiger?’ ses Bill Chambers.
“‘See it?’ ses the tramp, with a shiver. ‘Oh, Lord!’
“He made signs for more brandy, and Henery Walker, wot was acting as
landlord, without being asked, gave it to ’im.
“‘It chased me for over a mile,’ ses the tramp; ‘my ’eart’s breaking.’
“He gave a groan and fainted right off. A terrible faint it was, too,
and for some time we thought ’ed never come round agin. First they
poured brandy down ’is throat, then gin, and then beer, and still ’e
didn’t come round, but lay quiet with ’is eyes closed and a horrible
smile on ’is face.
“He come round at last, and with nothing stronger than water, which
Mrs. Smith kept pouring into ’is mouth. First thing we noticed was that
the smile went, then ’is eyes opened, and suddenly ’e sat up with a
shiver and gave such a dreadful scream that we thought at first the
tiger was on top of us.
“Then ’e told us ’ow he was sitting washing ’is shirt in a ditch, when
he ’eard a snuffling noise and saw the ’ead of a big tiger sticking
through the hedge the other side. He left ’is shirt and ran, and ’e
said that, fortunately, the tiger stopped to tear the shirt to pieces,
else ’is last hour would ’ave arrived.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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