The Lady of the Barge and Others, Entire CollectionJacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
The Lady of the Barge and Others, Entire Collection
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction
“‘But you might do it in your spare time, Mr. White,’ ses Frederick
Scott. It’s very likely that the tiger’ll come back to my hin ’ouse for
the rest of ’em, and he’d be very surprised if ’e popped ’is ’ead in
and see you there waiting for ’im.’
“He’d ’ave reason to be,’ ses Policeman White, staring at ’im.
“‘Think of the praise you’d get,’ said Frederick Scott, coaxing like.
“‘Look ’ere,’ ses Policeman White, ‘if you don’t take yourself and that
pudding basin off pretty quick, you’ll come along o’ me, d’ye see?
You’ve been drinking and you’re in a excited state.’
“He gave Frederick Scott a push and follered ’im along the road, and
every time Frederick stopped to ask ’im wot ’e was doing of ’e gave ’im
another push to show ’im.
“Frederick Scott told us all about it that evening, and some of the
bravest of us went up to the ‘Cauliflower’ to talk over wot was to be
done, though we took care to get ’ome while it was quite light. That
night Peter Gubbins’s two pigs went. They were two o’ the likeliest
pigs I ever seed, and all Peter Gubbins could do was to sit up in bed
shivering and listening to their squeals as the tiger dragged ’em off.
Pretty near all Claybury was round that sty next morning looking at the
broken fence. Some of them looked for the tiger’s footmarks, but it was
dry weather and they couldn’t see any. Nobody knew whose turn it would
be next, and the most sensible man there, Sam Jones, went straight off
’ome and killed his pig afore ’e went to work.
“Nobody knew what to do; Farmer Hall said as it was a soldier’s job,
and ’e drove over to Wickham to tell the police so, but nothing came of
it, and that night at ten minutes to twelve Bill Chambers’s pig went.
It was one o’ the biggest pigs ever raised in Claybury, but the tiger
got it off as easy as possible. Bill ’ad the bravery to look out of the
winder when ’e ’eard the pig squeal, but there was such a awful
snarling noise that ’e daresn’t move ’and or foot.
“Dicky Weed’s idea was for people with pigs and such-like to keep ’em
in the house of a night, but Peter Gubbins and Bill Chambers both
pointed out that the tiger could break a back door with one blow of ’is
paw, and that if ’e got inside he might take something else instead o’
pig. And they said that it was no worse for other people to lose pigs
than wot it was for them.
“The odd thing about it was that all this time nobody ’ad ever seen the
tiger except the tramp and people sent their children back to school
agin and felt safe going about in the daytime till little Charlie
Gubbins came running ’ome crying and saying that ’e’d seen it. Next
morning a lot more children see it and was afraid to go to school, and
people began to wonder wot ’ud happen when all the pigs and poultry was
eaten.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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