The Lady of the Barge and Others, Entire CollectionJacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
The Lady of the Barge and Others, Entire Collection
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction
The Major looked at him, and for the first time noticed an unusual
neatness and dressiness in his friend’s attire. His collar was higher
than usual; his tie, of the whitest and finest silk, bore a pin he
never remembered to have seen before; and for the first time since he
had known him, the Major, with a strange sinking at the heart, saw that
he wore spats.
“This is extraordinary,” he said, briefly. “Well, good-day, Halibut.
Can’t stop.”
“Good-day,” said the other.
The Major quickened his pace and shot ahead, and keeping in the shade
of the hedge, ground his teeth as the civilian on the other side of the
road slowly, but surely, gained on him.
It became exciting. The Major was handicapped by his upright bearing
and short military stride; the other, a simple child of the city, bent
forward, swinging his arms and taking immense strides. At a by-lane
they picked up three small boys, who, trotting in their rear, made it
evident by their remarks that they considered themselves the privileged
spectators of a foot-race. The Major could stand it no longer, and with
a cut of his cane at the foremost boy, softly called a halt.
“Well,” said Halibut, stopping.
The man’s manner was suspicious, not to say offensive, and the other
had much ado to speak him fair.
“This is ridiculous,” he said, trying to smile. “We can’t walk in and
propose in a duet. One of us must go to-day and the other to-morrow.”
“Certainly,” said Halibut; “that’ll be the best plan.”
“So childish,” said the Major, with a careless laugh, “two fellows
walking in hot and tired and proposing to her.”
“Absurd,” replied Halibut, and both men eyed each other carefully.
“So, if I’m unsuccessful, old chap,” said the Major, in a voice which
he strove to render natural and easy, “I will come straight back to
your place and let you know, so as not to keep you in suspense.”
“You’re very good,” said Halibut, with some emotion; “but I think I’ll
take to-day, because I have every reason to believe that I have got one
of my bilious attacks coming on to-morrow.”
“Pooh! fancy, my dear fellow,” said the Major, heartily; “I never saw
you look better in my life.”
“That’s one of the chief signs,” replied Halibut, shaking his head.
“I’m afraid I must go to-day.”
“I really cannot waive my right on account of your bilious attack,”
said the Major haughtily.
“Your _right?_” said Halibut, with spirit.
“My right!” repeated the other. “I should have been there before you if
you had not stopped me in the first place.”
“But I started first,” said Halibut.
“Prove it,” exclaimed the Major, warmly.
The other shrugged his shoulders.
“I shall certainly not give way,” he said, calmly. “This is a matter in
which my whole future is concerned. It seems very odd, not to say
inconvenient, that you should have chosen the same day as myself,
Brill, for such an errand—very odd.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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