The Lady of the Barge and Others, Entire CollectionJacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
The Lady of the Barge and Others, Entire Collection
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction
“I want to see the captain of this ship,” cried the doctor; “go and
fetch him at once.”
[Illustration: He saw another tatterdemalion coming toward him.]
The second officer gazed at him, limp with astonishment, and then
turned to the steersman, as though unable to believe his ears. The
steersman pointed in front of him, and the other gave a cry of surprise
and rage as he saw another tatterdemalion coming with uncertain steps
toward him.
“Carson,” said the new arrival, feebly; and coming closer to his
friend, clung to him miserably.
“I’m just having it out with ’em, Thomson,” said the doctor,
energetically. “My friend here is a solicitor. Tell him what’ll happen
if they don’t take us back, Harry.”
“You seem to be unaware, my good fellow,” said the solicitor, covering
a large hole in the leg of his trousers with his hand, “of the very
dangerous situation in which you have placed yourselves. We have no
desire to be harsh with you—”
“Not at all,” acquiesced the doctor, nodding at the second officer.
“At the same time,” continued Mr. Thomson—“at the—” He let go his
friend’s arm and staggered away; the doctor gazed after him
sympathetically.
“His digestion is not all it should be,” he said to the second officer,
confidentially.
“If you don’t get for’ard in two twos,” said that gentleman,
explosively, “I’ll knock your heads off.”
The doctor gazed at him in haughty disdain, and taking the limp Thomson
by the arm, led him slowly away.
“How did we get here?” asked Mr. Harry Thomson, feebly.
The doctor shook his head.
“How did we get these disgusting clothes on?” continued his friend.
The doctor shook his head again. “The last thing I can remember,
Harry,” he said, slowly, “was imploring you not to drink any more.”
“I didn’t hear you,” said the solicitor, crustily; “your speech was
very indistinct last night.”
“Seemed so to you, I dare say,” said the other.
Mr. Thomson shook his arm off, and clinging to the mainmast, leaned his
cheek against it and closed his eyes. He opened them again at the sound
of voices, and drew himself up as he saw the second officer coming
along with a stern-visaged man of about fifty.
“Are you the master of this vessel?” inquired the doctor, stepping to
his friend’s side.
“What the blazes has that got to do with you?” demanded the skipper.
“Look here, my lads; don’t you play any of your little games on me,
because they won’t do. You’re both of you as drunk as owls.”
“Defamation of character,” said the solicitor, feebly, to his friend.
“Allow me,” said the doctor, with his best manner, “to inquire what all
this means. I am Dr. Frank Carson, of Melbourne; this gentleman is my
friend Mr. Thomson, of the same place, solicitor.”
“_What?_” roared the skipper, the veins in his forehead standing out.
“Doctor! Solicitor! Why, you damned rascals, you shipped with me as
cook and A. B.”
“There’s some mistake,” said the doctor. “I’m afraid I shall have to
ask you to take us back. I hope you haven’t come far.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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