The Lady of the Barge and Others, Entire CollectionJacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
The Lady of the Barge and Others, Entire Collection
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction
Mr. Smith promised faithfully, and both the Tidgers and Mrs. Pullen
were surprised to find that Mr. Miller was the only visitor that
evening. He spoke but little, and that little in a slow, ponderous
voice intended for Mrs. Pullen’s ear alone. He spoke disparagingly of
money, and shook his head slowly at the temptations it brought in its
train. Give him a crust, he said, and somebody to halve it with—a
home-made crust baked by a wife. It was a pretty picture, but somewhat
spoiled by Mrs. Tidger suggesting that, though he had spoken of halving
the crust, he had said nothing about the beer.
“Half of my beer wouldn’t be much,” said the dealer, slowly.
“Not the half you would give your wife wouldn’t,” retorted Mrs. Tidger.
The dealer sighed and looked mournfully at Mrs. Pullen. The lady sighed
in return, and finding that her admirer’s stock of conversation seemed
to be exhausted, coyly suggested a game of draughts. The dealer
assented with eagerness, and declining the offer of a glass of beer by
explaining that he had had one the day before yesterday, sat down and
lost seven games right off. He gave up at the seventh game, and pushing
back his chair, said that he thought Mrs. Pullen was the most wonderful
draught-player he had ever seen, and took no notice when Mrs. Tidger,
in a dry voice charged with subtle meaning, said that she thought he
was.
“Draughts come natural to some people,” said Mrs. Pullen, modestly.
“It’s as easy as kissing your fingers.”
Mr. Miller looked doubtful; then he put his great fingers to his lips
by way of experiment, and let them fall unmistakably in the widow’s
direction. Mrs. Pullen looked down and nearly blushed. The carpenter
and his wife eyed each other in indignant consternation.
“That’s easy enough,” said the dealer, and repeated the offense.
Mrs. Pullen got up in some confusion, and began to put the
draught-board away. One of the pieces fell on the floor, and as they
both stooped to recover it their heads bumped. It was nothing to the
dealer’s, but Mrs. Pullen rubbed hers and sat down with her eyes
watering. Mr. Miller took out his handkerchief, and going to the
scullery, dipped it into water and held it to her head.
“Is it better?” he inquired.
“A little better,” said the victim, with a shiver.
Mr. Miller, in his emotion, was squeezing the handkerchief hard, and a
cold stream was running down her neck.
“Thank you. It’s all right now.”
The dealer replaced the handkerchief, and sat for some time regarding
her earnestly. Then the carpenter and his wife displaying manifest
signs of impatience, he took his departure, after first inviting
himself for another game of draughts the following night.
He walked home with the air of a conqueror, and thought exultingly that
the two thousand pounds were his. It was a deal after his own heart,
and not the least satisfactory part about it was the way he had got the
better of Wiggett.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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