“My son is dead, and I knew it not,” he said slowly, pausing between the
words. He stood with his trembling lips falling apart, his countenance
all moving and twitching, transfixed, it seemed, by a sort of woeful
amaze, wondering at himself. Then he turned upon Charlotte, with a
piteous appeal. “Was I told, and have I forgotten?” he asked. The
humiliation of that human overthrow overpowered his re-awakened soul.
She came to him quickly, and put her arm round him. “Father dear, you
were so ill, they would not let us tell you. Oh, I have known--I have
known it would be so much the worse when it came.”
He put her away from him, and sat down again feebly in his chair. In
that dreadful moment he wanted no one. The horror of the individual
humiliation, the idea that he could have heard and forgotten, was more
terrible even than the dreadful novelty which thus burst upon him. “I’m
glad,” he said, “I’m glad,” babbling with his loose lips. I shrank away,
feeling it a profanation to be here, a spectator of the last mystery of
nature; but Charlotte made a faint motion that kept me from withdrawing
altogether. For the first time she was afraid; her heart had failed
her.
For some minutes her father continued silent in his chair. The sunset
had faded away, the misty twilight was falling. Margaret, guilty and
miserable, but still unable altogether to subdue her sobs, shaking her
white apron from her head, and looking round with a deprecating,
apologetic glance, had withdrawn to the other side of the room. All was
silence after that broken interchange of words. He lay back, clasping
and unclasping his hands, his lips and features all moving, whether with
a wish to speak or with the mere workings of emotions unspeakable, I
cannot tell. When suddenly, all at once, with the voice of a strong man,
loud and full, he broke out into the cry which has sounded through all
the world--the utterance of every father’s anguish. “Oh, Absalom, my
son, my son! Would God that I had died for thee, my son, my son!”
We both rushed towards him simultaneously. He did not remark me,
fortunately; but again he put Charlotte away. “What are you afraid for?”
he said, almost sternly; “that I will forget again? That is not
possible. Ye think sorrow kills; but no, it stings ye back to life. It
stings ye back to life,” he repeated, raising himself in his chair. Then
he looked round him solemnly. “Margaret, my woman, come here, and give
me your hand. We’re partners in trouble, you and me, and never shall we
part. As long as this is my house there is a place in it for you.
Afterwards, when it goes to--ah! when it goes to Charley,” he cried,
with a sudden burst of unforeseen sobs.
Charlotte looked at me again. Her face was white with despair. How was
this last news to be broken to him?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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