I hurried back to the house in a state of agitation which I cannot
describe. It was partly nervous dread. I do not disguise this; but
partly it was a bewildered anxiety and eagerness to know what it was
that I might be able to do. That I had the most absolute faith in it I
need hardly say. One does not have, or think one has, such an interview
as this without believing what is told in it. There was no doubt in my
mind, save an anxious, excited wonder--how was it, how could it be? I
searched all my horizon for possibilities. Before I reached the house, I
had forgotten all the other incidents in my eagerness about this. My
pursuit of her seemed nothing but natural, and the sudden silence that
had seemed to tingle and thrill about me went clean out of my mind. “You
may help if you will! if you will!” I said it over and over to myself a
thousand times with a feverish hurry and eagerness. Indeed, I did
nothing but repeat it. I could not eat, I could not rest. When Charlotte
came down late to tell me her father was asleep, that the doctor who had
been sent for had pronounced his recovery real, I was walking up and
down the half-lighted drawing-room repeating these wonderful words over
and over to myself.
“He says it is wonderful, but it may be complete recovery,” Charlotte
said; “only to tell him nothing we can help, to keep all the
circumstances from him; especially, if it is possible, about Ellermore.
But how is it possible? how can I do it? ‘Help if you will?’ Mr. Temple,
what are you saying?”
“It is nothing,” I said; “some old rhyme that has got possession of me.”
She looked very anxiously into my face. “Something else has happened?
You have seen or heard”--Her mind was so alive to every tone and glance
that it was scarcely possible to conceal a thought from her.
“I have been in the Walk,” I said, “and, being excited and restless, it
was more than my nerves could bear.”
She looked at me again wistfully. “You would not deceive me, Mr.
Temple,” she said; then returned to her original subject. The doctor
was anxious, above all things, that Mr. Campbell should leave Ellermore
to-morrow; that he should go early, and, above all, that he should not
suspect the reason why. She had the same dread of the removal as ever,
but there was no alternative; and not even a day’s delay was to be
thought of, for every day, every hour, made the chances of discovery
more.
“But you cannot keep up the delusion for ever,” I said, “and what when
it is found out?”
Again she wrung her hands. “It is against my judgment; but what can I
do?” She paused a moment, and then said, with a melancholy dignity, “It
can but kill him, soon or syne. I would not myself have my life saved by
a lie; but I am weak where my father is concerned, and God understands
all. Oh, I am beginning to feel that so, Mr. Temple. We search and
search, and think what is best, and we make a hundred mistakes; but God
sees the why and the wherefore. Whoever misunderstands, He never
misunderstands.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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