India -- History -- British occupation, 1765-1947 -- Fiction; Love stories
The sedative very speedily took effect upon Tommy and he slept calmly
while she sat beside him with the light from the lamp turned upon her
book. But though her eyes were upon the open page her attention was far
from it. Her thoughts had wandered to Monck and dwelt persistently upon
him. The memory of that last conversation she had had with Ralph Dacre
would not be excluded from her brain. What was the meaning of this
mysterious absence? What was he doing? She felt uneasy, even troubled.
There was something about this Secret Service employment which made her
shrink, though she felt that had their mutual relations been of the
totally indifferent and casual order she would not have cared. It seemed
to her well-nigh impossible to place any real confidence in a man who
deliberately concealed so great a part of his existence. Her instinct
was to trust him, but her reason forbade. She was beginning to ask
herself if it would not be advisable to leave India just as soon as
Tommy could spare her. It seemed madness to remain on if she desired to
avoid any increase of intimacy with this man who had already so far
overstepped the bounds of convention in his dealing with her.
And yet--in common honesty she had to admit it--she did not want to go.
The attraction that held her was as yet too intangible to be definitely
analyzed, but she could not deny its existence. She did not love the
man--oh, surely she did not love him--for she did not want to marry him.
She brought her feelings to that touchstone and it seemed that they were
able to withstand the test. But neither did she want to cut herself
finally adrift from all chance of contact with him. It would hurt her to
go. Probably--almost certainly--she would wish herself back again. But,
the question remained unanswered, ought she to stay? For the first time
her treasured independence arose and mocked her. She had it in her heart
to wish that the decision did not rest with herself.
It was at this point, while she was yet deep in her meditations, that a
slight sound at the window made her look up. It was almost an
instinctive movement on her part. She could not have said that she
actually heard anything besides the falling rain which had died down to
a soft patter among the trees in the compound. But something induced her
took up, and so doing, she caught a glimpse of a figure on the verandah
without that sent all the blood in her body racing to her heart. It was
but a momentary glimpse. The next instant it was gone, gone like a
shadow, so that she found herself asking breathlessly if it had ever
been, or if by any means her imagination had tricked her. For in that
fleeting second it seemed to her that the past had opened its gates to
reveal to her a figure which of late had drifted into the back alleys of
memory--the figure of the dreadful old native who, in some vague
fashion, she had come to regard as the cause of her husband's death.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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