He held her fast and understood it all as only a lover could, for she
seemed to be speaking from his own heart. Any separation between them
was poignant agony. He wanted to become identified with her—to lose
himself, as she expressed it—yet the horror of the coming day prevailed
upon his mind, making thoughts and words and even the movement of his
hands an indescribable heaviness.
"It seems there should be but two in a world at a time like this. Our
walk in the desert must have maddened me. I want some hill-country for
our Meeting. I want the desert ... I must go. If I do not sleep, I
shall not be strong."
"Do you think you can sleep?"
"I shall try. Perhaps—we are so exhausted."
They stood apart as if by common impulse, searching each other’s eyes.
It was the deep look that passes but once between a man and a woman.
She drew back a little, saying quietly:
"It is not our hour."
And then a sudden pity seemed to come to her, akin to that which he had
met the night before—something from his face. She came to him.
"Oh, don’t think it has anything to do with the world. I would have no
mere man tell us when we are one. It is nothing like that. Our marriage
must be made in a better place than earth—or else we are very far apart
and mad indeed. No man—none less than a saint, a master—could tell me
when I am your wife—oh, yes, our Holy Man—but I would not wait for him.
But don’t you see—this is not the hour? Our hearts are broken. I feel
Nadiram heavy upon me like a low and appraising eye. This place is full
of the _old_. It belongs to the cries in the night—it belongs to him of
the Forward Room.... Listen, to-night we must rest, or we will break
to-morrow. I feel as if nothing mattered but strength for to-morrow.
Go to your room—yes, go to your room and bring your cot here—"
"Anna—Anna!"
"Yes, and I will bring mine beside it—here beside it.... Yes, and we
shall lie down, hand in hand, and call upon our strength—and rest—don’t
you remember?—like little children—"
It was in a kind of ecstasy that he moved about his room, making
ready—the sweetness of the woman overcoming every other thought. He was
hastening, yet he knew she would be longer in coming to the living room.
His love went forth to her, often his hand and his step stilled to
listen for her movement in the house. With a queer laugh, he realised
that she was calling forth from his heart a force that could never come
back to him—that she was necessary for life, that his days would be very
few if she were taken. He was forced into the lover’s establishment of
every thought on an immortal basis. "Give all to love"—he had not known
what that meant, even last night.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account