His head swung to and fro like one to whom breathing is a burden. His
hand had gone out to her. He could not be sure, but he felt that his
hand touched her throat, that her chin nestled in his palm for a
second.... There was a step in the court—Bamban coming with the bags.
Oddly enough, this aroused Romney from the lulling presence of the
woman. Alone in the room with her now he had found it irresistible. It
was as if he had come home after incredible travail.... The fact is he
had treated himself rather badly; there had been many hours of
self-hatred. He had felt the whole outer world, (which he cared for
second to her)—arousing itself in scorn for him.... He would have been
unconscious before her, had not his servant come.
"Bamban," he muttered, "help me into that room. I am to stay—to stay
here, I believe."
At the door of the room, Romney’s back turned, Bamban stood before the
woman a moment. She bowed her head until the servant passed on. Then
she moved swiftly to the fire, stirred it into flame and put on the
kettle.... Through the open door in the candle-light, she saw the man
struggle with his shoe. He seemed unable to see, and his body swayed
weakly as his head bent forward. He gave it up for a moment and sank
back on the cot. She went in to help him. He tried to push her away,
but she resisted:
"Please, I must help you—"
A picture of her brother in the Forward Room had come before him,
hunched and helpless, and he would not.
"Just sit down—if you will," he panted. "Just a little while—so I can be
sure. I am better—"
There was silence.
"... I was leaving the court," he said in an expectant tone, as if ready
to be corrected. "You came after me—"
"You came three nights to be near me at the time of the hyenas—"
"Yes.... And this is the Consulate—the room I first slept in, and you
are here."
"Yes."
"And why did you ask me here? ... Or did you tell me already? ... You
see, I wasn’t quite all here for a minute."
"I asked you to come, because I was torn with the faith and the will you
have shown. It seemed to me suddenly as great as the quest—something
modern, added to the old dream of going forth—as if you knew that the
quest was _nearest_—"
"I didn’t know anything like that. I only knew I loved you," he said
rigidly.
"You felt a woman’s need and remained," she said. "Against her will,
and all."
"It was not a woman’s need," he muttered. "Everything is out of me, but
naked truth. I loved you—that changed all. I had work. You made me
forget it. You held to the dream. My dream turned to you. It is you
now.... I think I shall not pass this way again. If there is something
more important here below than this love—very well. Let them have it,
who say so. As for me, I love you. I think the great man who said,
’Give all to love,’ meant me."
"Wait—"
She went to the fire, her eyes gleaming. The thing there was not
finished. She brought water to him in a basin.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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