End of the world -- Fiction; Epidemics -- Fiction; Science fiction; Twenty-first century -- Fiction
Raymond staggered forth from this scene, as a man might do, who had
been just put to the torture, and looked forward to when it would be
again inflicted. He had sinned against his own honour, by affirming,
swearing to, a direct falsehood; true this he had palmed on a woman,
and it might therefore be deemed less base—by others—not by him;—for
whom had he deceived?—his own trusting, devoted, affectionate Perdita,
whose generous belief galled him doubly, when he remembered the parade
of innocence with which it had been exacted. The mind of Raymond was
not so rough cast, nor had been so rudely handled, in the circumstance
of life, as to make him proof to these considerations—on the contrary,
he was all nerve; his spirit was as a pure fire, which fades and
shrinks from every contagion of foul atmosphere: but now the contagion
had become incorporated with its essence, and the change was the more
painful. Truth and falsehood, love and hate lost their eternal
boundaries, heaven rushed in to mingle with hell; while his sensitive
mind, turned to a field for such battle, was stung to madness. He
heartily despised himself, he was angry with Perdita, and the idea of
Evadne was attended by all that was hideous and cruel. His passions,
always his masters, acquired fresh strength, from the long sleep in
which love had cradled them, the clinging weight of destiny bent him
down; he was goaded, tortured, fiercely impatient of that worst of
miseries, the sense of remorse. This troubled state yielded by degrees,
to sullen animosity, and depression of spirits. His dependants, even
his equals, if in his present post he had any, were startled to find
anger, derision, and bitterness in one, before distinguished for
suavity and benevolence of manner. He transacted public business with
distaste, and hastened from it to the solitude which was at once his
bane and relief. He mounted a fiery horse, that which had borne him
forward to victory in Greece; he fatigued himself with deadening
exercise, losing the pangs of a troubled mind in animal sensation.
He slowly recovered himself; yet, at last, as one might from the
effects of poison, he lifted his head from above the vapours of fever
and passion into the still atmosphere of calm reflection. He meditated
on what was best to be done. He was first struck by the space of time
that had elapsed, since madness, rather than any reasonable impulse,
had regulated his actions. A month had gone by, and during that time he
had not seen Evadne. Her power, which was linked to few of the enduring
emotions of his heart, had greatly decayed. He was no longer her
slave—no longer her lover: he would never see her more, and by the
completeness of his return, deserve the confidence of Perdita.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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