Thought that she had failed to stand self possessed before Bobby
Cole--a burning, shaming thought yesterday--was relegated to an obscure
place in her consciousness. She had fallen short of the poise her lover
would have her retain, but that did not matter ... not now.
Without Beck's love there was nothing for her, she had come to believe
and she experienced a strange, little-girl feeling, fleeing toward the
protecting arms that could comfort and hold her safe from the blackness
that was elsewhere.
She leaned low on the sorrel's neck and called to him and he ran
through the dying night breathing excitedly as her impatience was
communicated to him. Dawn yawned in the east and the mountains took
shape. The road became discernable before her. She drew the excited
horse down to a trot and forced herself to force him to conserve some
of his splendid energy.... Then urged him forward, a moment later, at a
stretching run....
The round-up camp was moving that day. The riders were up and the first
had swung off for the work of the morning before she pulled her horse
to a stop beside the chuck wagon.
"He ain't here, ma'am," Oliver replied to her query for Beck.
"Not here?"--sharply, for she sensed from him that something was wrong.
"No. He left yesterday. He told me to head this ride. He--"
"And where did he go?" she broke in, voice not just steady.
"I don't know, ma'am." The man studied her face intently, seeing the
confusion there, adding it to the evidence he had collected to piece
out a theory. "I thought maybe he said something to you about quitting."
"_Quitting!_ You don't mean that!"
"It looks like it, ma'am. I didn't know just how to take what he said.
It seems like somethin' 's got him worried. He wasn't like himself. You
wouldn't know him.
"He said that future plans for this outfit didn't interest him. He said
he was leavin' and it wasn't likely he'd be back but it wasn't so much
what he said as it was th' way he said it that made me think he was
goin' to drift. We all know he's got some pretty active enemies but it
wasn't like Beck to run away from 'em. Still....
"He left me in charge an' said I was to take orders from you. He ain't
showed up since and Lord knows where he'd go except out of the country."
Out of the country! The words made her hear but vaguely the story of
the ruined Tank and the questions about the work that Oliver put to
her. Out of the country! He had gone, then, thinking that her love had
not been a fast love, that she was wholly unworthy. He had taken his
chance and had lost and that loss had taken from him even the desire to
stay and face the men who would drive him out of the country because he
had defended her!
Later Jane found herself riding homeward, the sorrel at a walk, her
mind numb and heavy. Last night it had been a question of love against
her pride; she had sacrificed the latter only to find that that
sacrifice had been made too late.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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