"It's all been a lie, another lie, all this you've said!" he cried
lowly. "You didn't lie tonight because you need me; you lied because
you love me, ma'am! You love me, like a good woman can love, and I love
you.... I love you, ma'am, like I never thought I could love. It's
bigger than I am, bigger than all the rest of my life....
"From that first night you talked to me I've been afraid I was goin' to
love you. That was why I planned to go away because I didn't want to
take a chance with my love. It's the only sacred thing I've ever owned
and I've kept it back, savin' it for the time when I could turn it
loose....
"When you told me you'd made up your mind to stay here, that you wanted
to do something that was real and worth-while, I felt that I couldn't
hold it back....
"But I didn't know you. I got to love you so much I was afraid of you,
afraid of myself. That was why I bullied you, that was why I picked on
you. I tried to drive you away from me, I tried, even, to keep from
bein' your friend, but somethin' told me all the time that this had to
come.
"I've watched you grow strong and big. I've hurt you on purpose. I've
made some things hard for you to do, but you've done 'em. You're like a
man, in the way you stand up to things ... and the gentlest, the
sweetest woman down in your heart!"
"Not that!" she pleaded. "Not all that. I'm not what you think, I'm
only what you can make me. I'm weak and need it. I want to be carried
... along and upward by it!"
Chin drawn in, he looked down into her face as she lay in his arms, her
breath quick and fast and warm on his cheek. He could feel his limbs
vibrate as his pulse leaped and his whole body trembled as he read the
look in her eyes, revealed by the moonlight.
Up on the hills a little owl hooted and again the coyote yapped. A
vagrant night wind touched the trees above them and the leaves
whispered sleepily, as if roused by a pleasant dream. The murmur of the
creek sounded almost as a blessing. None of these they heard. They were
lost in a vague, limitless world, alone, swayed by the most powerful,
the most beautiful forces in life.
"You lied because you love me," he whispered.
And at that she stirred and her breath slipped out in a long sob. He
lowered his face to hers as scalding tears brimmed from her eyes. He
felt them on his cheek, mingled with her breath and he felt her arms
tighten about his neck, her body draw closer to his.
"It wasn't any chance!" he whispered fiercely. "It wasn't any chance,
and I've been holdin' back, fighting it off, denying it to myself for
weeks ... afraid to risk it, afraid to let it come out ... afraid of
what is _so!_"
"Isn't it a chance?" she asked almost in a gasp. "Isn't it? Are you
sure, Tom?"
"As sure as I am that the moon is up there, Jane."
He lowered his lips to hers and for a long kiss they clung.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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