What seemed certain to him now was that Van Hupfeldt himself or some
agent of Van Hupfeldt's must be in the Mordaunts' house, and that this
letter sent through Dibbin had never reached Violet. So again he was cut
off from her. Not one word could he speak to her. He craved only for one
small word. When that marriage of hers with Van Hupfeldt was to take
place he did not know; but he felt that it might be soon. He had taken
upon himself to say to her that it should never be, and not one word
could he utter to prevent it. He had forgotten, and his brain would not
give up its dead. He beat his brow upon his dining-room table where his
head had dropped wearily on his coming home that early morning from the
country.
To go to her, to tell her all, to stop the indecent marriage, to
cast himself at her feet, and call upon her pity for his passionate
youth--this impulse drove him; but he could not stir a step. A
great "No" bewitched him. His straining was against ropes of steel.
Half-thoughts, half-inventions of every impossible kind passed like
smoke through his mind, and went away, and came wearily again. The only
one of any likelihood was the thought of kneeling to Dibbin, of telling
him that Van Hupfeldt was probably Strauss, and beseeching him for the
Mordaunts' sake to give the address. But he had not the least faith in
the success of such a thing. To that dried man, fossilized all through,
incrusted in agency, anything that implied a new departure, a new point
of view, was a thing impossible. His shake of the head was as stubborn a
fact in nature as any Andes. There was only the diary left--the diary
might contain the address!
David did not wish to open those locked thoughts. He had hardly the
right, but, after a whole day spent in eying the book, he laughed wildly
and decided. It was a question of life, of several lives. He put the
book to his lips, with a kiss of desperation, inhaling its faded scent
of violets.
At once he rushed out with it to a tradesman skilled in locks, and was
surprised at the ease with which the man shot back the tiny lever with a
bit of twisted wire.
"I can make you a key by the morning," said the man, squinting into the
lock, and listening to its action as he turned the wire in his fingers.
"It is a simple mechanism with two wards. Meantime, here it is, opened."
He refused even to be paid for "so slight a thing." David handed him a
cigar--and ran; and was soon deep in it. The first passage thrilled him
as with solemn music:
O silent one, I must tell my sweets and bitters to you, since I
mayn't to others. You will treasure each syllable, and speak of
me as I am, "nothing extenuate nor set down aught in malice."
But please, as you are good, bring not upon me any further
declamation of the unhappy Moor! Pray Heaven you may not have
to record the "unlucky deeds" of "one that lov'd, not wisely,
but too well," nor your pallid cheeks reveal your grief
because my "subdued eyes,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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