A deadlock seemed to have arisen. "Harry" allowed one letter to be
written home to tell of the birth; but would not permit any direct
statement as to the marriage, nor any meeting, nor any further letter,
until "Mrs. S.," who was now "near her end," should be dead. She wrote:
To-day is six weeks since I have seen him, and altogether he
has seen baby only twice. Yesterday's letter was divided into
"heads," like a sermon, giving the reason why I may not go to
him in Paris, why I may not write home, even without giving my
address, and why he cannot come back yet. But it is a year now,
and I have a mother and a sister. There is no certainty that
Mrs. S. may not live ten years longer; and in last night's
letter I said that on the 4th of July, one month from now, if
nothing has then happened to change the situation, I shall be
compelled to risk displeasing him, and I shall go to R. That's
crossing the Rubicon, Gwen, and I'm awfully frightened now. He
will call it defiance, and rave, I know. "Be bold, be bold, be
not too bold." But, then, I can always tame the monster with
one Delilah kiss. I think I know my man, and can conquer my
conqueror, and it is time now to begin to assert myself a
little. . . .
Isn't there something queerish in his relation with "Mrs. S."?
He stands in such mortal fear of her! I don't think it is quite
pretty for a man to have such tremors for any earthly reason.
One day I asked him why he could not introduce me to her as--a
friend? She might take a fancy to me, I said, since I am
generally popular. He looked quite frightened at the mere
suggestion of such a thing. . . .
That last night, coming home from the theater, he said
something about "Anna." I asked him who Anna was. He said: "I
mean Mrs. S.," looking, it seemed to me, rather put out. I had
never heard him call her Anna before. . . .
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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